wanker(the inbetweeners)

s3 ep5 pt1

we were all sat in wills living room while he was playing the wii and jay was complaining about his dog watching him wank

"why didn't you just shut him out the room?" i ask him

"i tried that but he goes mental scratching at the door and howling"he answered

"or you could take him to a dog training class" my brother suggested

will looks at him like he's an idiot and i don't blame him "i think they teach more sit, stay, beg not stop waiting me wank"

"why didn't you buy a ps3 everyone know that wiis are for children and girls"jay scoffs

"and gays" neil adds on

will mum then walks into the room "will i'm just heading off" she then seems surprised to see us but smiles greeting us making me smile back at her "oh sorry i didn't realise you had friends round i see your enjoying wills new W-I-I"

"it's called a wii" will rolls his eyes at his mum

"it's neat it's the only computer game i've been able to play"

"would you like a game now mrs mckenzie?" neil asks her

"oh no i'm not very good even will can beat me" she giggles

"you must be terrible" will shoots me a glare

"well i'll give you come tips"jay grabs the remote out of simons hand "the trick with this one is to bounce around a lot" he mimicks the movement making me roll my eyes and lean into neil's shoulder and jays attempt to get wills mum to jiggle about

"oh okay maybe i'll give it a quick go" wills mum seems pretty much clueless at what the boys true intonation was

"no you definitely won't!" will yells at her "do you what something?"

"oh not really i'm just going away for the weekend and wondered if there is anything you want from waitrose?"

"your going away? where?" wills mum then tells him about his she going to some man's house she reconnected with on facebook

"your going away with a facebook stalker? do you not watch the news? where's he taking you a ditch off the A40?"

"i know your upset but try not to overreact" she looks at us and notices some of us trying to stifle our giggles " maybe we should talk about this later"

"no let's talk about it now in-front of everyone"

"look stay calm or you'll have another asthma attack like you did when you lost teddy"

"okay we will talk about it later" will gives in and after his mum leaves we decide to leave as well

we were walking down some random street when jay decided it will be a brilliant idea to kick and kill some flowers

"why do that?" simon questions him

"it's funny and cool" jay says like it's obvious

"but that's someone's garden it's vandalism" i think he's being abit dramatic calling it vandalism

"nah vandalism is like smashing someone's window in or something" neil says

"honestly simon it's not that bad it's just a laugh" i say laughing at him

"still you shouldn't do it" jesus he is starting to sound like will

" why are you a afraid you'll go to prison for killing flowers" jay mocks him

"right well good luck with the landscape gardening i'm off" simon goes to turn around to leave