we were still working in the old people's home and neil seems to be really getting into it which i honestly find adorable. as i'm sat watching neil give brian some tea, jay starts making loads of noise
"careful jay you'll wake brian"neil tries to shush jay
"fucking hell if you like brian's old cock so much why don't you marry him"jay sighes "this is boring im gonna go for a quick tug"
"what in here?" i walk over and go stand next to neil
"nah there must be a spare room around here somewhere"
"there's a bedroom down the hall they cleared out this morning but they cleared it out cos someone died in it what if it's haunted" neil tells him
"well haunted or not it will be covered in ectoplasm when i'm finished" i scrunch my nose up in disgust at jays words
"what cos of the ghosts?" neil asks
"no because he's going to spunk all over it" i explain to neil while jay picks up a magazine and walks out of the room. i then go sit back down and watch neil take care of the old people
"are you with him?" one of the old women walks up to me
"yes i am" i nod my head at her still not taking my eyes off neil
"he's a lovely boy"i smile at her words "and if he treats you even half as kindly as he treats us you are one lucky lady, not many boys are like that these days"
"tell me about it" i turn to look at her and she laughs at me "you are right though he is amazing" i turn to look back at neil as i see him poor another man some tea and smile at him as he starts talking to him "and i really do love him"
i then get up and walk over to him and pull him into a short but sweet kiss
"what was that for" he asks once i pull away
"i just love you" i say back to him and his face lights up
"cool" i just laugh at him and pull him to kiss me again and i hear the old woman i was talking to aww at us from behind me
the next day we walk into the common rooms and see wills asleep on the sofa
"there he is sleeping ugly, get any gray minge last night?" jay asks as we all sit down and neil puts his arm around my shoulder"i know why he was really there overnight, you've got a geriatric girlfriend haven't you? i bet you creep into her room kiss her on the false teeth then slide right up inside her powdery old fanny"
when will doesn't react to jays words neil speaks up "he's asleep i reckon"
"i think your right baby" i nod my head at neil
"oh my god this is perfect" jay says while turning to pull something out of his bag "hair removal cream like in those photos, i nicked it out of sadie cunninghams bag i mean her bush will go out of control but this will be worth it"
i then watch as the boys open wills pants and squirt some cream onto his balls
that night the boys apart from wills were all over at mine and simons house playing fifa and i was sat on nils lap as his arms wrapped around my waist the controller resting on my thighs
"i can not belive that plum Will is gonna pay me for yesterday when all i did was watch tv and slope of for a crafty wank"jay tells us
"you go to an old people's home and wank off doesn't that seem weird to you?" i ask him
"sometimes i even stick a finger up my arse while i do it" he turns to me and i see neil's eyes widen in shock
"well i'm going back tomorrow so you don't need to be there" my brother speaks up
"no i'll still be there it's the easiest money i've ever made"
"wills not gonna pay you if he dosent need you there" my brother argues back
jay starts complaining about how wills needs to give him notice and my dad suddenly opens the door to the room
"hi simon, liv"
"dad?"
"what are you doing here?" i ask him
"me and your mum are just talking things through" he pauses before finishing "have you got any johnnies?"
"mine and livvys are in the bathroom in livvys box of tampons" neil tells my dad
"thanks son" my dad says running up the stairs
"neil" i slap his chest and then rub my hands over my face
the next day we were back at the home
"i can't believe your still here and not getting paid for it"jay says to us
"i like the old people there just like people too it's like people like brian you know they've lived"
"i think there boring" jay argues
"oh yeah there boring but it's a different boring you know what i mean" i smile at neil
"right i think it's that time again"jay says
"what again?" i ask him
"liv with as much spunk as i have you need to release the valve a couple of times a day"
"your a disgrace" i tell him while neil laughs
"if you see baldy bollocks cover for us" he says while walking off
the next day we are sat outside mr gilbert's office and i know i should be worried about getting in trouble all i can focus on is the fact that neil is manspreading making my stomach tingle. as the boys are arguing neil sees me staring at him and asks me if i'm okay
i get up and walk to him and i bend down so i'm whispering in his ear "we are definitely doing it tonight"
his eyes widen "really" i just nod my head at him and sit on his lap
gilbert then walks out of his office and tells us to come in while neil asks "is prince charles cross with us sir?"
YOU ARE READING
wanker(the inbetweeners)
Humorneil sutherland x oc simon coppers sister olivia cooper has been friends with jay and neil for as long as she can remember and when will comes to the school and the group start ending up in a bunch of situations she will realise that she has deeper...
