On the last day of her second round of chemotherapy,
Aviana is surprised to hear that her doctor wants her to
stay in the hospital overnight to be monitored and tested
before returning home, and the thing she notices is the
absolute horror in her mother's eyes; she says, "Does it -
does it have to be tonight? Can we come back after?"
She doesn't need to say that she wants to be home for
Christmas holiday too, but Aviana knows that's what she
means when she says 'after,' but the doctor insists -
They leave the room together while the nurses get
all of the tubes and equipment cleaned up; as she sits
in the chair with just the nurses, tears well up in her eyes -
"Something is wrong, isn't it?" she sobs to the nurses,
who sit with to tell her that it's normal to be more cautious;
"Doctors never ask to keep kids here unless they think
it is needed. That doesn't always mean something is wrong,"
but there is no comfort in her words, which seem to be true;
Brave Aviana stares them down with tears flooding her cheeks:
"But Christmas is in two days. Do doctors make kids
stay on holidays to be cautious?" Aviana's voice trembles,
and the nurse seems to understand that Aviana understands -
during any other week of the year their words would have given
the comfort they were formed to provide, but not this time!
When her mother comes back to get her, she tells Aviana,
"Come, Avi, we're going to go ride an ambulance," sighs -
Maybe someone else would have loved the opportunity,
or maybe she would have loved it at a different time, only
she isn't someone else or some time else; Aviana is Aviana;
She is her parent's little bird with cancer - she is sick -
so sick that they are making her stay overnight right before
Christmas holiday; As they walk to the emergency room for
their ride, Aviana does what she does best - asks a question:
"Will we still do our Christmas Eve cookie decorating for Santa?"
Her mother doesn't even pretend, she shakes her head,
"No, I don't think we will do that this year, sweetie," and
the little girl, poor Aviana, finds herself crying once again -
but not because they aren't making cookies, no! She cries
because the cancer finally took over her life so much that it
ruined something so big that it hurt worse than how adults
treated her differently and made school harder; it finally had
taken something away from her that she wasn't ready to lose;
Not even her mother's embrace could calm her as she spiraled
deeper and deeper into her thoughts - hating cancer for choosing her.
YOU ARE READING
terminal
PoetryThis is an epic poem that tells the tale of Aviana - the middle sister in her family of five who is diagnosed with cancer at just six years of age. It will be a raw telling of how terminal illness wreaks havoc in the lives of those touched by it whe...