Suspended in Air

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Aviana's life got infinitely easier when needles and appointments

were replaced by weekends at home and day trips for fun; but

they had to choose places where it would be hard to get sick -

like a movie theater, the zoo, or museums - because it was safer

to be in the open air or indoors where nobody had to come into

contact with anyone else; over time, everyone had their favorite

places to go: When it was Brynn's turn to choose where to go,

she always picked laser tag, which wore Aviana out so fast, which

was nicer than it sounded because it was a different kind of tired

than when she was doing treatments and staying in hospital beds;

Lilly always asked to go to an art studio because she could

paint with her fingers and try new projects every week, and it

was fun to get creative so Aviana never minded to go, and her

mom always talked about how much she enjoyed not cleaning up

the huge mess Lilly made when it was all done; And then Aviana -

well - she liked to go to the indoor trampoline park - which was not

her parents' favorite thing, but they just couldn't understand what it

was like to be suspended in the air, eyes closed, and imagining

what it will be like when she dies someday, or how it will feel when

she becomes an angel like they always tell her will happen; She just

loves the feeling of flying and then landing on the foam blocks; Will it

be like this when she flies to Heaven and drops down onto the cloud

meant just for her? Though the time in the air is so short, she imagines

herself floating above her family, invisible, guarding over them long

after she's been gone; When she floats through the air from one

trampoline to the next, from high to low, low to high, she laughs like

she's never laughed before, and even if her parents are scared,

they whisper on the ride home how much they love to see Aviana

happy and acting like a child again; and then they start to cry because,

well, they know that these days are of short supply; Day trips bring

a joy to their hollow home where everyone is just waiting for the

next breath from Aviana's lips to be the last one, but any break

from the monotony of expectation and fear is a gift - the memories

will someday replace the sinking feeling in their guts that they feel

with each cough from Aviana's lips or day spent sleeping in late;

Eventually, they will remember the laughs and the pictures and

the crawling into bed with her while waiting for her to wake up;

Maybe Aviana likes the trampoline park so much because it's not

just her body flying - but their family is suspended in air too;

It is just a matter of when will they all drop into the abyss...

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