Aviana knew something was very wrong when the third
round of chemotherapy began and the entire family was
coming to every single appointment, but she couldn't ask
anyone what was happening because she was never alone
with any of the staff; It is only by chance that Aviana gets a
moment with a nurse while the whole family went to the
cafeteria to get lunch - and Aviana slyly asks what she needs
to ask, "Is the chemotherapy working?" but the nurse says
that she can't answer that question; so Aviana pushes,
"Then I want my doctor to come tell me," and its not a
soft question from a child's lips; this is a demand from
a little girl who is also a patient - which makes the nurse
appear uneasy; When her family comes back with their food
they are followed shortly by the doctor who asks to speak
with her parents - they go into the hallway where they think
Aviana cannot hear, and the doctor talks about how she
has asked about her treatment, about how she should know
about her diagnosis, and, further, about her prognosis -
As it turns out, they knew after her overnight stay in
December that Aviana's cancer was not responding to
the chemotherapy, it was doing absolutely nothing , which is
why she is doing a third round of treatments that are longer
and stronger; Aviana knew there was something different
about the medicine, too, because she was either asleep or
at the doctor, and very rarely anything else; her parents
wanted to keep trying the chemotherapy one more time
if there was a chance that a more aggressive approach
would work, but they didn't ask Aviana want she wanted;
And she watches them talk in the hallway, not needing to
hear everything they are say to know the answer; when her
mother covers her face to cry, Aviana feels guilty for wanting
the answers - but she knows that she wants honesty; if
cancer is going to destroy her body and her life, she deserves
to have all of the information about what its doing or
not doing with her life; when her father comes back he says
to her sisters that the doctor wants to speak with Aviana, and
they will need to move into the hallway with their mother;
Then, with just the doctor and her father, Aviana hears, for the
first time, that her cancer is not only not responding to the
chemotherapy treatment so far, but that the cancer is getting
bigger in some places; "What happens if you can't make it
stop?" It is the question her father stops their chat to declare that
it is enough, but Aviana argues, talking back in a loud tone,
"NO!" Her voice echoes and it garners a peak from Lilly in the
hall; the doctor frowns and lets a hard line form on his lips -
Aviana can see that he wants to tell the truth but can't - he can't!
All at once, she loses faith that her parents will be honest,
so she asks, "Will you tell me if my dad leaves?" He shakes
his head, explaining that children have to have their parents
with them for these types of discussions; Aviana screams
that it isn't fair and tells her father to go away if he's not going
to let her know what is happening to her body; it upsets everyone,
so the doctors and nurses intervene and remove her father from
the room while she cries in her chair alone; Aviana watches her
family comforting one another in the hall, and she doesn't
care that she is by herself now because her parents decided
without her that she didn't deserve to know the truth - and
that is all she wants; she's cries it to the nurse "What's the
truth? How do I get better if it isn't working on me?"
But nobody speaks to her anymore for fear of her parents;
She wonders if they knew that she afraid of them now, too -
YOU ARE READING
terminal
PoetryThis is an epic poem that tells the tale of Aviana - the middle sister in her family of five who is diagnosed with cancer at just six years of age. It will be a raw telling of how terminal illness wreaks havoc in the lives of those touched by it whe...