terminal

What's the Truth?

Aviana knew something was very wrong when the third

round of chemotherapy began and the entire family was

coming to every single appointment, but she couldn't ask

anyone what was happening because she was never alone

with any of the staff; It is only by chance that Aviana gets a

moment with a nurse while the whole family went to the

cafeteria to get lunch - and Aviana slyly asks what she needs

to ask, "Is the chemotherapy working?" but the nurse says

that she can't answer that question; so Aviana pushes,

"Then I want my doctor to come tell me," and its not a

soft question from a child's lips; this is a demand from

a little girl who is also a patient - which makes the nurse

appear uneasy; When her family comes back with their food

they are followed shortly by the doctor who asks to speak

with her parents - they go into the hallway where they think

Aviana cannot hear, and the doctor talks about how she

has asked about her treatment, about how she should know

about her diagnosis, and, further, about her prognosis -

As it turns out, they knew after her overnight stay in

December that Aviana's cancer was not responding to

the chemotherapy, it was doing absolutely nothing , which is

why she is doing a third round of treatments that are longer

and stronger; Aviana knew there was something different

about the medicine, too, because she was either asleep or

at the doctor, and very rarely anything else; her parents

wanted to keep trying the chemotherapy one more time

if there was a chance that a more aggressive approach

would work, but they didn't ask Aviana want she wanted;

And she watches them talk in the hallway, not needing to

hear everything they are say to know the answer; when her

mother covers her face to cry, Aviana feels guilty for wanting

the answers - but she knows that she wants honesty; if

cancer is going to destroy her body and her life, she deserves

to have all of the information about what its doing or

not doing with her life; when her father comes back he says

to her sisters that the doctor wants to speak with Aviana, and

they will need to move into the hallway with their mother;

Then, with just the doctor and her father, Aviana hears, for the

first time, that her cancer is not only not responding to the

chemotherapy treatment so far, but that the cancer is getting

bigger in some places; "What happens if you can't make it

stop?" It is the question her father stops their chat to declare that

it is enough, but Aviana argues, talking back in a loud tone,

"NO!" Her voice echoes and it garners a peak from Lilly in the

hall; the doctor frowns and lets a hard line form on his lips -

Aviana can see that he wants to tell the truth but can't - he can't!

All at once, she loses faith that her parents will be honest,

so she asks, "Will you tell me if my dad leaves?" He shakes

his head, explaining that children have to have their parents

with them for these types of discussions; Aviana screams

that it isn't fair and tells her father to go away if he's not going

to let her know what is happening to her body; it upsets everyone,

so the doctors and nurses intervene and remove her father from

the room while she cries in her chair alone; Aviana watches her

family comforting one another in the hall, and she doesn't

care that she is by herself now because her parents decided

without her that she didn't deserve to know the truth - and

that is all she wants; she's cries it to the nurse "What's the

truth? How do I get better if it isn't working on me?"

But nobody speaks to her anymore for fear of her parents;

She wonders if they knew that she afraid of them now, too -