SELF SABOTAGE // ELIJAH HEWSON

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞-𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊

tw!! unwanted pregnancy and termination mentioned within this chapter

the boys had left for their tour 3 days ago, haidens nausea was still hitting in waves but she managed to play it off as a stomach bug to eli, who was adamant he wanted to cancel the first few shows to help her

spencer had been staying at haidens apartment since the whole pool party incident, she'd been an absolute saint.
haiden had in fact taken two pregnancy tests and both were negative, which was amazing but she still felt like rotting shit everyday

"right you have an appointment in an hour okay? so get up, smell nice and get dressed" spencer laughed, leaving haiden alone in her room while she went to grab a glass of water.
haiden was terrified, not only did she have severe health anxiety but her boyfriend had just gone away on tour and her best friends convinced her that she has something growing inside her that she is in no position to be responsible for

she sorted herself out, pulling her shades on again thankful that the weather didn't match how she was feeling, and before she knew it... her and spencer were right outside the clinic

✭ —— ✭ —— ✭ —— ✭ —— ✭ —— ✭

"so i'm sure you've seen how this works, i'll just put this gel on, it will be a little cold" the nurse laughed, putting haidens nerves at ease for a few seconds "and we'll just see what's going on in there yeah?"

haiden lay back and closed her eyes, her hands visibly shaking as she squeezed spencer's hand. spencer continued to rub the back of haidens hand as she knew it was a common comfort for the young girl

"i can confirm that your sickness and nausea is in fact because you're pregnant! congratulations"

fuck. fuck fuck fuck is all that ran through haidens mind

"are you sure?... not in a way i'm questioning your job obviously, i think it'll just be good for haiden to have that extra clarification" spencer smiled and laughed lightly

"well if you just look here" the nurses smiled as she pointed to the screen of the ultrasound, a small white spot appearing "that is the beginning of your fetus"

"how quickly can i have an abortion"

"i'm sorry?" the nurse asked as her smile flattered. spencer was shocked at the sudden question, she knew this wasn't what her best friend wanted in this moment but she wasn't expecting... that

"how quickly can i terminate the pregnancy, please" haiden whispered, tears falling down her cheek slowly

"well we usually recommend you take a few days to ensure that's what you want..."

"i don't need a few days, i need a termination... please"

"we can get that sorted for you... would you prefer it medical or would you prefer the pills?"

"pills, please" she sighed, staring back at the light ahead. haiden knew there was nothing to be ashamed of, but there was something eating her alive (no pun intended) that she couldn't even look spencer in the eyes.
the nurses nodded and left the room, the two girls left alone as spencer tried her best to comfort haiden

"you cannot tell elijah"

"haiden come on, you know he deserves to know..."

"no spence, i'm serious" she mumbled as she sat up, wiping her tears "this tour is all they've wanted, and if he finds out he'll try to cancel everything to come home to me... he just doesn't need to know, okay?"

"okay" she smiled and nodded, kissing haiden on the head gently "i won't tell him"

hayden sighed and nodded, the nurse finally making her way back into the room.
"so this pill you'll take first when you leave here... that is what we class as termination. the second pill you'll take tomorrow and that will essentially clean you out. it's just like a very heavy period okay? so we recommend you stay home after taking the second pill and you keep a friend close by"

"told you, you're never getting rid of me moore" spencer joked and nudged haidens shoulder, haiden letting out a laugh

the girls were out after haiden had taken the first pill, both of them back at haidens place after spencer grabbed a few of her own belongings to stay for a couple of days

"do you think i'm a bad person? for how quickly i asked to terminate?"

"god no haiden" she sighed, holding her best friend right on the sofa as she stroked her hair "it's not what you want right now, and that's okay... just next time get nepo to wrap it up, yeah? i enjoy our girls trips but not when it's a trip to a sexual health clinic" they laughed, haiden leaning into spencer's touch

"remember that time the receptionist knew you by name because you had like 3 std's in the same month?"

"that was a dark time for me haiden" spencer laughed "you take that to the grave"

she laughed softly, staring at whatever nonesense was playing on the television... her hand unconsciously resting on her stomach as she sighed "noa and freddie..."

"hm?"

"if we were later on in life, and i was able to keep whatever baby i had... i'd call them noa if they were a girl, and freddie if they were a boy" she smiled softly

"that's beautiful denny" spencer smiled, pressing a kiss to her friends head as she held her close