Played (Montellano series #1)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

"So nahanap mo ba ang peace of mind mo?" Kim asked me when she called.

Umirap ako at hindi sumagot. Tinawanan niya ako.

"Wala ka ba talagang alam sa post na 'yon?"

"Sinabi ko na, 'di ba." sabi ko. "Hindi ko alam na kinuhanan niya ako ng picture."

Kauuwi ko lang galing Baguio. When Kim heard that I'm already home, she called me immediately via video call.

Rake drove me home. Pagkahatid na pagkahatid niya sa akin, umalis na siya. Hindi ko na rin siya pinapasok pa sa compound. Bumaba lang ako d'yan sa labas ng gate. Wala pang tao sa bahay bukod sa mga kasambahay. Sina Ate at ang mga magulang ko ay siguradong nasa opisina pa habang si Gavin ay hindi ko alam kung saan pumupunta.

Tinawanan na naman ako ng pinsan ko. "Hindi ko alam kung nagkataon lang talaga na nagkita kayo roon o sinadya. How come you'll see each other there? Of all the places?"

"Right! That's what I'm wondering about." frustrated kong sinabi sabay pasada ng daliri sa aking buhok. "I don't know, I guess fate is playing with me."

"Sa totoo lang, hindi ko talaga gusto si Rake para sa'yo, lalo na dahil sa ginawa niya noon sa'yo. I hate seeing you cry and sad and lonely. Ayaw ko nang maulit iyon pero nakakatawa na nagkita na naman kayo."

"That's right. I hate it too."

Sa apat na taon, ni isang beses hindi nagkrus ang mga landas namin pero simula noong party nina Jake, palagi ko na siyang nakikita! It's frustrating and annoying. I've been trying hard to move on and have a normal and peaceful life but suddenly he shows up, disturbing the peace I've been trying so hard to achieve since he cheated on me.

It's just so frustrating. I'm so annoyed and angry. Bakit ba hindi na lang ako hayaang makalimot? Gustong-gusto ko nang makalimutan ang lahat. I've been wanting to move on from that betrayal and heartache so I can move forward with my life without the baggage in my heart.

Ako na lang kasi ang nandito, e. Ako na lang ang na-stuck sa nakaraan. Ako na lang 'tong apektado pa rin sa mga nangyari noon hanggang ngayon. Ako na lang 'tong hindi pa nakakalimot. Ako na lang itong may poot at galit pa rin sa puso hanggang ngayon. It's pissing me off.

Sometimes I wonder why does it seem so easy for others. Ate Mikee and Nica got brokenhearted too but they looked fine after it. Some of my friends moved on easily after their breakups. While me, still struggling in pretending as if I wasn't affected anymore but the truth is, I'm still on that time even though it's been years.

"Baka nga gusto kang pormahan ulit, tulad ng hula ni Nica."

"Oh come on, Kim! Stop it! Don't even say that. It's annoying, really."

Tumawa ulit siya, mukhang natutuwa sa reaksyon ko. "But what if 'yon nga? Gusto kang pormahan ulit?"

"So what? I won't entertain him, of course. Bakit mo ba ako tinatanong n'yan? You hate him, right?"

"Just asking." nagkibit-balikat siya. "So you didn't get your peace of mind?"

"Ano pa nga ba. Nasayang lang ang leave ko." umirap ako.

She smiled at me with sympathy in her eyes. "It's been four years, Mich. I guess you haven't really moved on?"

Tinitigan ko siya nang matagal bago nag-iwas ng tingin. She sighed heavily. Hindi siya nagsalita. We were silent for a few minutes until she spoke.

"I think you need to rest. That vacation stressed you out big time. Balitaan mo ako sa mga susunod na mangyayari." she waved goodbye then ended the call.