Du Nord: The Believing heart lost years (EN)

The fourth word

Wednesday 13 December 2006, Luna Nova

"That weekend with Croix was wonderful to spend, I remember every moment I spent there, having fun with my friends, it was even a way to relax and forget about the problems, I was very happy to get back together with Croix that time, like many that will happen and I will put aside what happened before for this separation to happen, I really didn't have the best relationship with her, it was quite toxic, but my heart kept asking for more and more Croix, I became emotionally dependent on her, but at least that time we spoke again was the cue for us to find the fourth word.

And another promising day of training, my body is even feeling a little achy, but I'm pretty calm in itself, is the fourth word going to come I'm actually quite patient to wait for it, I know I should go for it and everything, I just don't know specifically what they are and my mum is always helping me with that.

"Look girl, I'm surprised at how quickly you've already found the first three words, but now I'm going to give you a boost, I've already told you the meaning of the fourth word in one of our loose training sessions, the next one is Mayenab Disheebudo, it took me a few years to find it, I think it was right around graduation, since I stopped focusing on the words for a while, but I could easily have understood it before, I just didn't want to - This is going to be quite interesting if you think about it for a while.

"So that's what the fourth word is? Do I have a special way of releasing it? Because I already know what it means, have you told me?" I ask my mum.

"Are you sure you really know? Anyway, it's good to remember because I already told you and I don't think you remember" Well, now you've got me, I really don't remember.

"What the hell, I don't remember, you said something I can't quite remember, what do I do now?" I ask her.

"Patience girl, now you know the fourth word, just try to remember the meaning calmly and patiently, I know you'll get it in time, well don't be late getting changed for class, come on girl" It's true, I still have to get changed for class.

I turn to my mum and wave to her that I'm walking out of there, now I just have to go to class, I'm going to try to be more thoughtful and go to the greenhouse where Jennifer's legendary tree is, maybe that way I can find the meaning of the next word, it might be a good place to think about yourself, come on Chariot.

[...]

Well, classes have come to an end for the day, and I've been very patient waiting the whole time, I'm leaving the classroom with my friends, and I can see that Croix is waiting for me at the classroom door, this is going to be very interesting, I want to see what she wants to do today, even though it's a Wednesday.

"So Chariot, where are we going today? I have a day off, even in the middle of the week" she asks.

"Today I'm going to find the fourth word, my mum told me about it and she had said what it meant, so I'm going to Jennifer's greenhouse to try and think a lot and meditate a bit, so I can remember the fourth word well" I tell her.

"How bizarre, is that what your mum taught you about the fourth word, couldn't she give you everything straight away?" Yes, she could.

"Yes, it would, but it wouldn't have the same grace and weight, it wouldn't make me as deserving of Claiomh Solais' power, it would just be everything handed to me, which my mum already says is a huge privilege that I've had, she found everything on her own and occasionally with Woodward's help, so I'm already way ahead" I say to her and she shrugs.

"Well, I'm just saying that it could be better for you to get ahead of your plans, so you can focus more on your career, you just need to find the last two words, but anyway, if that's it then let's see what it's about" I don't know if she'll like it, but all right, let's go.