Jilly Stories

What if...?

*sigh* ok guys. Here it is. What if Gilly never apologized to her friends in charmed? What if instead she believed that if she pretended not to care about them, they wouldn't get hurt? What if she... died? Brace yourselves. There's a lot in this one.

1 DAYS UNTIL ALVA RETURNS

I look longingly in the direction of my ex-friends table. They're all laughing and talking and I feel a tug of pain in my side. I shake my head. This is all for their safety. I can't let them get hurt. I was mean to Maxine on purpose. I ignored Kayla on purpose. After a while, even Ollie started to hate me. Jax kept trying, for so long, until finally, I had to get rid of him. I couldn't bear to see him ever get hurt. I publicly embarrassed him and never apologized.

I sigh and throw away my food. I'm not hungry anymore. Plus, I have to go back to the library to keep planning. Alva's coming in 1 day, and I need to finalize my plans. I walk down the hallway, and start to go over my plan.

Step 1) Give the note to one of my friends (former)

Step 2) Walk into the Hollow Woods.

Step 3) Distract Alva from going to FTRS

Step 4) Bring her into the portal to The Land of No Returns

Step 5) Somehow, find a way out

It's a pretty solid plan- minus step 5 of course. It could definitely work. If heartbreak doesn't get to me first. I've been so lonely ever since I ditched my friends. Now I have to act as if I hate them, which kills me every time. Sometimes, the pain is so crushing, I have to lay down and have medicine. But I keep going, reminding myself that this is the only way to keep them safe. The pain of losing a loved one is much more than the pain of loneliness. I look up, and see someone staring at me. Strange. I thought I was done with him. But I ignore, because if I have to do that one more time to Jax, I might die of depression. I head back to my dorm.

"It's fine Gilly," I chant, "You're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fi-" My voice breaks as I start crying. Good thing I got a dorm to myself by begging Flora to be moved out. After all, it would be kind of hard to ignore my friends if I slept in the same room as them. I lay down on my bed, and immediately fall asleep, into acid nightmares that follow me everyday, every night. I'll never escape the guilt of betraying my friends. Of hurting them. Of pushing them away. I'll never escape.

Ever.

Ok so a little short but also packed with drama. No I'm not gonna just end here, don't worry. There will be other parts. I'm not THAT mean. Or am I? DUN-DUN-DUHHHHH *sees pitchfork inching through the window* I mean, definitely not!