Promise

Butter chicken

I'm thankful for the rain. My face looks red from the coldness and wet from the raindrops landing on my face. But I'm crying.
I shouldve listened to Dongmin when he said Eunchae isn't someone I should be hanging around with.

"I'm not mad at you for gossiping about me, but saying that Yoonseo is fat is extreme. Especially since you're new" a girl, Siyeon from my class comes to me in the hallway. "Huh?" I ask confused. What is she talking about?
Before I could tell her I don't understand what she's talking about she walks into the girls bathroom. Why would Siyeon tell me that? I never said that sort of thing. How did she come up with that? Which reminds me that Eunchae talked about something similar a few weeks ago.
I walk into class and notice everyone eyeing me. I cautiously walk over to my seat since the lesson is about to begin.
"What's going on? Why is everyone looking weirdly at me?" I ask Jiho, a girl sitting in front of me.
She looked at me grossed out
"Why would I talk to you when you gossiped about my friends?" She says turning back away from me. But when did I say that? When did I gossip about them? The time Eunchae told me that stuff, I didn't even know my classmates names.

Did Eunchae trick me?
Did she really go around spreading rumours about me? Could she really do this sort of thing?
But we're friends right? Friends wouldn't do that to one another. We're friends after all. I can feel everyone's stares poking right through me. Thoughts were overflowing my head and I'm trying hard stop my tears.
Without much thinking I grab my bag and run out of the classroom. It's last period anyway. I dont need it.
I tried to walk faster without tripping, thanks to my luck I bumped into someone. I can't even see them because my eyes were teary.
"I'm sorry" I bring out before walking away again. I put my earphones in. Maybe that will stop my thoughts from messing with my head.
My life is just a complete mess at this point. Maybe I should've explained to Jiho and Siyeon the situation. But it seems meaningless now.  I feel cursed. Everytime I get a second chance I mess it up again. I should've just pushed eunchae away. I should just push everyone away. But I never learn from my mistakes. How dumb could I be. I got myself in this situation.

But why do I always have to pay for it? Why does everyone keep doing this to me? The world doesn't change at all. And Riki is one of them.
Even if I go round and round,
this world won't change.

My thick makeup is smeared. My nose red from crying and the coldness. I didn't bring my jacket with me. I wandered and wandered. I didnt notice I walked to the apartments.
It's already dark and the rain won't stop. It's pouring. I don't even have my keys with me.

I still can't stop crying, I almost tripped. It feels like I'm stuck, I can't stop worrying and worrying. I can't stop overthinking and I have this stupid anxiety that creeps up on me whenever I feel okay. It never leaves.

My shoulder was packed, and for a second I thought this is my last breath.
My salvation.

—————————————————————————

I feel myself being turned around, my shoulders were held and Dongmin was saying something. His expression worried. But I couldn't hear him. I could barely see him. When I finally blinked away the tears to get a better vision he stopped talking. He analysed my face, I could only look him into the eyes. He put his blazer around me and took my earphones off.
He looks drenched in water. Almost as bad as I probably look.

What is he even doing here? Why isn't he in class? Now that I think about it I didn't see him inside the classroom.
And suddenly it was hard for me to breathe. Even harder than before. But I feel confused. I don't know what happened anymore. What happened at school? Why am I here? Why is it still raining.

And he was obvious. I'm not sure how long I've been wandering around in the rain now. Since I've walked from school back here it must've taken more than 40 minutes. But I dont feel anything. I don't feel mad. I don't feel good but I don't feel sad. I just feel weak.

A sudden wave of coldness takes over me. Just now I can feel my soaked uniform sticking to my skin. My hair wet and my parted bangs stick to my forehead. I feel icky. And Dongmin, he doesn't look too much different from me. His lips are blue and he looks cold. He must be colder tho. He gave me his blazer. This wouldn't have happened if I just listened to him. And I seem stuck again. It feels like I can't move at all.
Small drops of water were dripping from Dongmin's hair. And he still has that distressed look on his face. What could've troubled him? I've never seen him like this. Ive always felt like I was talking to a brick wall when ever I talked to him. He never showed any emotion, neither in his tone nor his expression.
He never showed a tiny bit of care. But now.

The rain is still pouring heavily and just as it felt like the world stopped, he takes me by my hand and runs inside with me.