Promise

Ribs

I asked Taesan to hangout today. I Need to clear my mind.

Taesan
Just come to my place, my parents are gone

He texted me. Taesans family is often gone so we only stay at his place. I need to get my mind off of things after the Anton situation. It's not like I'm very affected by it. But I'm still shocked a guy developed feelings for me. I still don't understand why.

I rang taesans bell and seconds later he opens the door.
"Wassup" he greeted me. "I CANT go to school anymore" I walk in and throw myself on his couch. "Why? Because of Chanyoung?" Tassans asks sitting next to me
"Of course it's because of Chanyoung. That dude told his whole class that he fancies me" I put my hands on my eyes. "And now we don't even speak anymore"
"Relax, they'll forget it in a week or two, plus they're a grade below us anyway. Who cares" taesan tries his best to comfort me.
"I need to think about something else or I'll go crazy" I sit down normall
"Wait" taesan gets up and walks towards the kitchen.
He comes back with 2 bottles. "Have you ever drank alcohol before ji?" I shake my head. I never had the urge to drink. It smells horrible and people do weird things when they're drunk. "Me neither" taesan sits down next to me and pours both of us a glass.
"I'm afraid to try it" I confess. "It's okay. We'll do it together" he reassures.
I take my glass of soju and smell it first. I can smell the alcohol. But it's lychee flavored.
We both shoot glances at each other before exing the whole cup. It tastes like disinfectant spray but with a sweet touch. The taste burns my mouth and I just want to puke it out again. But I swallow it. Taesan doesn't seem to like the taste too
"Tastes like ass" he laughs. "I want cider" he gets up again and walks to the kitchen, get two cans of cider out and lays down on the couch again.
"Back then, when Chanyoung confessed and I agreed, I didn't really know what love even was. I didn't know how to love someone properly. But I wanted so much to be loved, and I thought someone loving me was enough. But I couldn't reciprocate the feelings" my head feels dizzy. I don't know why I'm telling taesan all this. But I never know why I'm telling Taesan anything at all.

"You're okay. Mistakes happen" taesan says.
"There's no need to rush things like relationships" the alcohol was working and I felt tipsy. It's my first time drinking at all.
"Oh also Jae-mi wants me to tell you she misses you and wants to play Barbie with you" he says laughing.
"Oh I'd love to, tiny Jae-mi is like a sister to me and I used to always play Barbie with my sisters too when we were kids" I chuckle
"I'm afraid of becoming an adult Taesan. I feel like I'm missing out on so much as a teenager and child, maybe that's why I wanted to be loved so bad"
"I'm also scared of growing up" Taesan puts his head in his palms
"I don't know what to do with my life" he says.
"I'm not doing well in school, and what if no one wants to marry me later. I'm good for nothing" tears start forming in my eyes. I'm not sad, this is just emotional for me.

"You're so loveable though Jia" he wipes my tears
"It's just scary yknow?" I stare at him
"yeah I get it" he sighs
"I'm scared of disappointing everyone, I'm already doing it but my mom still has a tiny bit of hope. I don't want to live a bad live"
I sit up and look at him
"You'll do great, whatever you'll decide to do" i comb through his messy hair with my hands
"We can talk it good but It drives me crazy not knowing about the future" he chuckles
"You're the only friend I need Taesan, you just get me. I don't ever want to lose you okay"