Doni Bobes Oneshots!

Helpless

A/N: Hello anyone reading! This oneshot is about therian Doni! I tried to make it as realistic as possible based on my own experiences, so I hope it's understandable! Stay safe if you stay to read! You can skip it, but here's some additional information from Google:

Things You Should Know

• A therian identifies as a species of non-human animal on every level except physical. They often engage in their animal identity's behaviors.

• You may be a therian if you notice yourself shifting (getting impulses to behave as a non-human animal) or if you remember a past life as a specific animal.

• There are other unique types of therians, such as polytherians (who identify as multiple species) and paleotherians (who identify as extinct animals).

• A therian may also experience heightened senses or a tingling sensation when around other animals of their species.

Therians are not furries.

Furries are people who are especially interested in a specific animal. They often make animal personas (called 'fursonas') or animal costumes (called 'fursuits') to connect even further with this animal. However, their fursonas are still a form of roleplaying; they view the animal they're portraying as a character. Therians, on the other hand, see their animal identity as a core part of them. They are the animal they identify as, whether they're wearing a costume or not.

You experience shifts.

A shift is a psychological change in your state of being where you can feel yourself transitioning to your animal identity. If you notice a change in your thought pattern where you become more like your theriotype than your human self, if you feel a phantom limb (a tail, a claw, etc), or you suddenly dissociate and feel like you're more present in your animal habitat than the real world, you may be undergoing some therian shifts.

• For example, if your theriotype is a parrot, during your shift, you might lose your independent thought and start repeating other people, feel like you have feathers instead of skin, or randomly start visualizing yourself on a subtropical island.

• Some therians also experience dream shifts, where they undergo psychological and physical changes into their animal identity whenever they dream.

You have species dysphoria.

If you feel like your body is the wrong species whenever you look in the mirror (for example, you should be a wolf instead of a human, you should have claws instead of fingernails, fangs instead of teeth, etc.), you may be experiencing species dysphoria. Species dysphoria is a common symptom for therians, who often feel a longing for the body of their theriotypes.

• Common symptoms of species dysphoria include bouts of sadness or depression, body image issues, or hallucinations where you feel peaceful imagining yourself as your animal identity.

More info! What is a Therian? Meaning, Misconceptions, & More (wikihow.com)

Tw: Caps, swearing, anxiety, species dysphoria, panic attack, difficulty breathing, heavy angst, hurt no comfort, helplessness, wishing for death, suicidal thoughts, names, minor sh, physical symptoms from stress, numbness, self-hate, hating own body, vent fic.

 Please tell me if I missed anything! Stay safe!

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Fake.

Weird.

Unnatural.

Numb.

Different.

Doni was all those things and more. All of them, yet he only wanted one thing that he couldn't have and would NEVER, EVER FUCKING HAVE.

Doni wanted to be a bird.

An owl, more specifically.

Or anything other than human.

You might be thinking, "Why Doni, aren't you a hybrid? You have wings and feathers and a nest!". Well, his answer to you is no. He was a fraud, a scam.

He had never been a hybrid, or ever will be.

Doni was human, and that's all what he was ever going to be.

The feathers and wings connected to his body were fake, enchanted by some worker at a potion shop on The Hub, a public server players often went to to spend vacation, practice skills, or learn how to play.

Brown wings were elytras, owl wings to the eye.

Feathers were clothes, made to seem individual and separate.

Doni was a human. And that's all he ever was going to be.

These thoughts were what caused him to lay curled up in the corner of his couch, his fake wings wrapped around him as shivers racked his body; fake feathers puffing up to conserve warmth.

Doni wanted to be a owl again. To make a real nest, to dive talon-first into deep water and come back up in one swift and graceful movement with a wriggling silver fish between his claws. To soar above the sleeping city, swooping and twirling between trees and houses with the wind in his feathers and freedom within. To hoot into the night, observing a perfect forest with an sharp eye. To preen wings with his mate, to cuddle when they got cold.

God, he missed all that so much.

But especially the flying. Oh, the flying...

It was more freeing then getting out of school for the summer, than going camping on a warm night, than running through valleys and hills with the wind in your hair.

Doni really, really fucking missed it.

But Doni was human. And that's all he was ever going to be.

A invisible barrier seeming to block his airway pushed him out of his thoughts, hands with fake- and that's all they would ever be- talons flying up to grasp his throat, desperately digging his human nails in and gasping for precious oxygen he didn't have.

He felt like he was dying. But maybe that'd be best. Besides, his friends wouldn't miss him. His viewers could find someone else to watch.

Maybe, there would be just the tiniest chance that he would die and go to heaven. He could be a owl again. Sure, it'd be unlikely, but a guy can hope, right?

His owl mask thrown across the floor and his fake, FAKE wings abandoned, Doni stopped struggling for air. He was ready to accept his fate.

So he closed his eyes and waited.

...

...

Nothing happened.

Doni was still alive.

That sucked.

He could breath again, his panic attack starting to fade as his heartbeat calmed down.

God, he was so much of a screw up he even failed at dying. Wasn't that supposed to be easy?

Scratching his arms, he tried to forcefully push his thoughts out of his head.

He felt like shit.

Because Doni was a human. And that's all he ever was going to be.

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A/N: Hi again. For the people who stuck around, I'm sorry it's so short. I've got to stop before I spiral further. I hope you guys understand how I'm trying to show how being a therian impacts you and your mental health. Have a great day/night! Bye guys!

Words: 1131