Let's go.

Part 34 - Bury Me Softly

I can feel Layne's warmth next to me before opening my eyes.

I'm surprised he is still in bed with me, I thought he would have snuck out.

I open my eyes and find him watching me. He is lying on his side. His eyes lovingly caress my face. He raises his hand and slowly moves a strand of hair falling at my cheek.

His knees are touching mine and his face is only inches away. I can smell his sour breath and sweat.

He smells different--not the way I remember.

I draw my finger along his protruding collar bone sticking out razor sharp through his skin, almost like it is about to perforate the thin skin stretching tightly across it. I continue to trace him, along the hills of his sharp cheekbones then down to the depths of his hollow cheeks. I brush my thumb across his dark circles. Hoping to erase the pain that is causing the darkness to pool below those blue-gray eyes.

"I have to go," He says quietly as his hand reaches for the curve of my hip.

"I know," I whisper.

He runs his hand up my hip down into the dip at my waist then trails along the waist band of my silk shorts. His long fingers lightly caressing the exposed skin at the hem of my silk camisole.

His blue-gray eyes are clouded as he searches my face.

He leans closer to me and places his soft lips to mine. He doesn't breathe me in, he doesn't deepen the kiss.

I close my eyes and let him seek the closure he needs, letting his hands feel my breasts, his mouth to my neck. It feels like he is searching, trying to arouse something within himself that he used to feel. A love he used to feel for me.

"It's okay," I murmur. And place my hand to his cheek. He rolls to his back and stares at the ceiling.

Tears don't well in my eyes like I would have thought. I think I have cried all that I can for us.

I hear the door to my bedroom creak open and see Kyle standing in the doorway in his little dinosaur pajamas. He stares at the bed seeing Layne lying within it. I am about to speak when I hear Layne's voice.

"Psst, hey you," he says to the little boy and leans up on his elbows.

Kyle squeals and runs to Layne's side of the bed.

"Layne!" He squeals again.

"Hi Kyle," Layne chuckles then reaches for the little boy and swings him up onto the bed, plopping his tiny body between us.

"Hi Wrenny," Kyle says to me as he snuggles into the blankets between us.

I brush the thick blonde curls back from his little face.

"How do you two know each other," I ask Layne.

Layne grins and Kyle answers, "We are cousins!"

Layne chuckles at Kyle and nods. He reaches over and tickles the little boy, sending him into a fit of giggles. "We are Rooverthords," Kyle says between giggles.

"Rutherfords," Layne says to me, clarifying Kyle's lisp.

"You and Ron are cousins?" I ask.

Layne nods. "Yep, Kyle's pops and I go way back, don't we Kyle?"

Kyle giggles at Laynes hearty laugh and snuggles down into the blankets. He cups his little hand over Layne's ear and whispers, not so quietly, "Why are you in bed with Wrenny?"

Layne chuckles, and replies, "She was cold, so I'm  keeping her warm."

Layne looks at me over Kyle's head of blonde curls and I feel a tightness in my chest. A feeling of a life never lived--a future lost. I try to smile back at him but it doesn't reach my eyes, the smile barely lifts the corners of my mouth.