Love Like Winter ❄️ Xavier Thorpe

Chapter 10: Without You, There's No Me

Soundtrack:

"Frequency" by Starset (added by Xavierslover on Wattpad who also has an awesome fic)
"Miss YOU!" by CORPSE
"Loser" by Sueco
"Think of Me Tonight" by LiL Lotus
"Stomach Tied in Knots" by Sleeping with Sirens

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't go to class the next day, or the day after that. The only time I even move from my bed is to pee, and to drink water because Enid makes me. I can't eat, I can't think, I can't sleep without seeing Xavier's face. The only time I'm able to sleep is when I pass out from sobbing so hard. Wednesday keeps her distance, as usual.

I'm in between consciousness when I hear Wednesday and Enid arguing.

"Wednesday, it's your fault this happened. The least you can do is try to fix it," Enid snaps. "I mean, she hasn't been to class in a week, and Xavier ... have you seen Xavier lately? He's clearly not sleeping or eating."

I don't mean to, but I start crying even harder. "I think she can hear you," Wednesday says to Enid. "Also, I don't think there's anything I can do. Xavier's not going to listen to me."

She scoffs. "Have you tried?"

"Like I said, he's not going to listen to me. There's no point."

"Fine," Enid growls. "I'll fix it myself!"

I hear the door slam and assume Enid left and Wednesday is still in the room. "Can you please not stand there and watch me cry?"

I feel someone sit down on the bed beside me and I pull the covers off of my head just enough to see who it is. Wednesday sighs and shuts her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean for you to get involved or for it to cause problems for you and Xavier."

I pull myself up so I'm sitting beside her. My hair hasn't been brushed in probably a week. I know I look like shit, but I feel like shit so it's fitting. I look at Wednesday and she looks down, fiddling with a loose thread on her jacket.

"I know. Can you at least not lie to me though?" I ask, wiping the dried tears off of my cheeks.

She raises an eyebrow. "Lie about what?"

"You love him," I say.

She opens her mouth to object, but then closes it and looks away from me. "I'm not going to tell you you're right, but I'm also not going to tell you you're wrong."

I can't help but smile. "I knew it!"

She glares at me. "You can't stay in here forever. How are you going to make up with Xavier that way?"

"I'm pretty sure he broke up with me," I say shakily.

"He wouldn't," she says immediately. "He can barely function without you."

I don't want to cry anymore, I'm tired of crying, so I ask Wednesday if she'd heard anymore from Tyler about The Society and if anyone had seen Divina.

She shakes her head. "No on Divina. Tyler said he's going to try to sneak back into their headquarters and get solid proof."

I shrug. "Good luck with that. I'll be here, wishing for a bullet to the head."

I cover my face back up with the blankets and feel Wednesday leave a few moments later. My body is weak from not consuming anything besides water for days, and I pass out again, not waking up until two days later.

It's Thursday and it's been a full ten days since I've seen or heard from Xavier. Ten days since I've heard him call me Princess, or kissed him.

Someone knocks on the door and my heart goes into my throat, thinking maybe it's Xavier.