SIDNAAZ ( An Unforgettable Journey)

42. Mera Ghar

Sana- Mein na soi hui thi aur achanak se meri aankh khul gayi. Mujhe ghar ki yaad aa rahi thi bahut zyada. Mujhe ghar jaana tha.

Sid was feeling so helpless because it was one thing that he couldn't ever give back to her. He could try but he can't change her past and remove all her scars and pains. He wished he could do something about that but what he could do in the BB house? He wanted to hug Sana and just make her forget everything she was thinking but he was just too numb to react anything after hearing what Sana just said. She is missing her home, of course how one cannot. They were there for so many months away from their homes and it's heart-wrenching for them whereas, Sana hasn't been her home for God knows how many years, months or days. Sid felt his own heart breaking for his baby. 

Just to break his trail of thoughts, Sana fastened her footsteps and stood in front of Sid. Looking upwards, chin-up to look through his eyes. Their height difference is so perfect and so ideal as we read in a perfect fictional novel. Her eyes were the most purest, honest and very talkative eyes one had ever seen. She was looking at Sid with so much love. On the other hand, Sid's eyes screamed love, worry and protectiveness at the same time. They stood there for a few seconds and then Sana wrapped her arms around his torso, her ears were on his chest, where she could hear his heart thudding. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Sid came out of his daze, hugged her back, taking her whole body within his arms and kissing the sides of her head.

Sid- Baby-

Sana- Shhh...Finally, I am Home. Mujhe mera ghar mil gaya shaant rehne de thodi der

Sid was dumbfounded when he realized what she meant when she said "Mujhe ghar ki yaad aa rahi thi". It was not just a word or term. It has a very deep meaning inside the small 4 letter word. You can love someone wholeheartedly, but you can't feel the feeling like you're home. It's not something that everyone can feel with anyone.

Sid ( in mind)- Ghar? The place where you feel safe. You feel protected. You feel seen and heard and you are valued. A place where you can be how you want to be without thinking twice. I am her home? She takes me as her safe place? 

Sana came out of his embrace and looked with visible tears in her eyes. She looked at him love pouring out from the whole being. Sid was still in his mind thinking how deeply she said, what she said. He was feeling everything she wanted him to feel at that point in time. He was feeling very overwhelmed as he processed what she said and the sincerity her voice held when she told him the same. He had never felt like this before. He had said or felt this with his mother and he had found peace with her. For the first time in his life, he heard someone saying this to him, he never felt how it feels when someone says it to you. To keep someone so close to your heart is something, but knowing that you are so close to someone's heart is a different kind of feeling. A beautiful feeling. 

Sid- Oh, to be loved like this 

He couldn't help himself to keep those words to himself. He felt like he was the luckiest person alive on this earth right at the moment. He wanted to scream and tell everybody that he found love. The true meaning of love. A love so pure that he wants to cry his heart out.

Sana- Han kya?

Sid- Idhar aa

He took her to the garden bed and slowly made her sit down, resting her back on the wall. She couldn't just look away from him, she didn't know why is she behaving like this today, she just couldn't keep in that how much she loved the person that was present in front of her and was there with her all the time. But today she felt like she didn't even want to blink, so that even for those nanoseconds she would not be able to see her love, her Sidharth.

Sid- Tujhe mein ek story sunata hu.

He then took both her hands and kept them warm in his hold.

Sana was now scared that maybe he wanted to "logically" refuse what she felt or he wanted to make a decision thinking something "practically" as he would say. Sid could sense her change in feelings and held her hand more tightly.

Sid- Nahi, mein wo nahi kahunga. Galat hai. Tum galat ho. Mein galat hoon. Nahi kahunga wo sab. Don't worry my baby.

Sana (giggled)- Tujhe kaise pata chala?

Sid took his fingers, and brushed her eyebrows and forehead gently and said,

Sid- Ye there maathe m ese sundar sundar lines aajate hai na ekdum budhiya jese

Sana- Mein bhaag jaungi yahan se Sidharth ache se nahi bol sakta har moment m tereko kharaab karna hai. Mein sachi bhaag jaungi aur sachi tera shakal nahi dekhungi

Sid (slowly)- Chance hi nahi hai. Mein jaane dunga tujhe? Tujhe lagta hai?

Sana- haan chal ab bataa kya bataa raha tha

Sid- Haan toh...tujhe pata hai na mein kitna private rehta hu mujhe kuch v chiz publically baat nahi karni hoti, mujhe pasand hi nahi hai

Sana- tu bola tha tu wo nahi bolega fir kyu bol raha hai

Sid- arre baba mein samza nahi raha hu mein bata raha hu kuch. Bahhut saal pehle mtlb hogya hoga kuch 8-10 saal mera ek relationship tha. Bahut famous the hum dono uss time. Industry m kaafi naam tha dono ka hi matlab individually bhi tha aur saath jod ke bhi tha. Wo ladki thodi social butterfly thi. She used to update everything online aur tab mujhe bhi itna kuch samaz nahi tha social media ko lekar toh mein usse kabhi manaa nahi karta tha. Tab mereko koi issue nahi tha duniya ko bolne m ki I am with her and mein usse pyaar karta hoon par I have always been a very absent person when it comes to social media and posting things. Mera facebook m v tab bas mere projects ke hi post karta tha wo jo teams ko milta hai sabko daalne m bas wahi. Wo jo thi na mein uska naam nahi lunga par jo meri partner thi we went to a dance show together aur fir humara kaam ka jagah v same hogaya toh she used to teach me ki esa post karte hai and all. Toh mein v wo sab se thoda acquainted hogaya aur mein kuch v posts daalne lagaa tha. Apna kaam, work-out, gym wale videos, family ke saath kabhi kabaar and thode bahut ese khud ke photoshoots wale photos. Tab mere usse zyada followers hogaye. Mera fame aur zyada badh gaya aur zyada projects v aane lage. Par problem ye hua ki wo projects sirf mujhe aane lage mtlb solo- projects. Samajh rahi hai?

Sana- usse wo bardaasht nahi hua hoga ki isse meine hi sikhaya par ye merese aage kaise nikal gaya? hai na?

Sid- exactly. Then humara roz kuch chota se chota baat ke liye jhagada hota tha and mere liye bahut tiring ho raha tha kyunki mere paas tab kaam v bahut tha toh mein bola tujhe jo karna hai kar mujhe shaanti de. Humara fir break up hogaya kuch time m. I was really sad. Mujhe bahut affect kiya tha wo breakup. You won't believe what she did-

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