SIDNAAZ ( An Unforgettable Journey)

94. I don't deserve you?!

Sana- Mereko theek nahi lag raha mein sona chaahti hu

Sid noticed that she didn't reply to what he had asked, so he was pretty sure that she was mad at him more than that she was hurt. "No shit Sherlock", his conscience mocked him. 

Sid- dawaai lele please

Sana-Time dekh Sidharth meine sab leliya hai. Wese bhi mujhe aadat hai apna khayal khud rakhne ki kya karu koi rishta nahi hai na shuru se akeli hu na

She taunts him with his own words which makes Sid more guilty.

Sid- Sana wo-

Sana- Khana kha le aur agar bahar se khaake aya hai toh soja

She turned her back to him and wanted to sleep but she realized that Sid needed AC and she would die if a bit of wind from the fan and AC touched her body. So, she got up and wrapped her blanket around herself. Sid panicked, thinking she was leaving because he was there.

Sid- Sana teri tabyat thik nhi hai tu yaahan soja mein chal jaata hu yahan se please matt jaa

Sana- Tu soja idhar, ac m mein guest room jaa rahi mujhe fan bhi nahi chahiye.

He didn't want to argue more as he could see she was really tired from all of the great deeds he had done throughout the morning, actually since yesterday.  He walked behind her to guard her until she was safely tucked in her blanket on her bed. He gently placed a kiss on her forehead and was about to turn when Sana held his hand to stop him. She sensed something. He turned around but he was looking down and she knew in one second that he was crying.

Sana- Idhar aa

Sid- No (he nodded like an innocent kid)

Sana- mein bol rahi na idhar aa (she tried to pull him from his wrist but he was too stubborn to run back to his room and let his tera wash out his guilt)

Sana- please baba. Idhar aaja (this time her voice quivered a bit and Sid instantly looked at her and saw that she was also about to cry. He sat down in front of her)

Sid- hm

Sana- mere taraf dekh

Sid broke down completely but yet he didn't let his gaze up to meet his eyes with Sana. Sana was hurt and she was mad at him for treating her the way he did but she was a thousand times more hurt to see her man, her strongest pillar break down into tears like this. She knew the amount of hurt she was with his words. He is equally hurt or even more than that to think that he had hurt her. Sana knew that guilt was the worst thing to face and she knew whole-heartedly that Sidharth was guilty.

Sana- Tu mujhe pucha na mein naaraz nahi hu terese? Nahi hoon. Kyunki mere hisse ka narazgi tune kar li hai apne aap pe. Guilt ek esi chiz hai jo andar se aapko sadhaa deti hai. Hai na? Bas karr ab bebu.

After listening to the word "bebu" Sid couldn't keep silent and cried loudly. Sana pulled him for a hug and rubbed his back

Sana- Baaasss basss bebu....bas kar abb kuch nahi hua. Mein nahi hu gussa. 

Sid broke the hug and was still looking down. He just couldn't look at her eyes. His guilt was getting more and more from time to time.

Sid- tu merese gussa kar le please tu esa karegi toh mereko aur zyada guilt ho raha hai. Tu gussa kar mujhe sazzaa de

Sana- Tu pagal hai? Tujhe sazaa dungi? Tujhe sazaa dungi toh takleef kise hogi?

Sid- Sanaa please matt kar merepe gussa kar lemein nahi jhel paunga ye guilt.

Sana moved a bit closer to calm him down when he got pissed at himself. It's his guilt and his anger at him getting doubled up as Sana was not showing any kind of anger and she has forgiven him. He was unable to forgive himself.