Ishq-e-Watan

Chapter 86- Understanding Our Feelings

CHAPTER 86

UNDERSTANDING OUR FEELINGS

'Kal raat jo bhi hua, the nightmare, the walk, following the terrorists, sab kuchh itna... overwhelming tha. And I cannot even talk about it with anyone. Well, anyone except Karan Sir. Except... the thing that is the most on my mind... unke baare mein main Karan Sir se baat nahi kar sakti. Ab unhe kaise bataun ki inn sab mein se the moment I keep thinking about is when he was with me, so... so close. I couldn't breathe. Mera poora dhyaan sirf unpar tha. My mind, my heart, my attention, sab kuchh sirf unpar.

Main apne aap se kyun bahut baar puchh chuki hoon. Bahut baar puchh chuki hoon ki woh kya hain mere liye, kyun alag hai, kyun unke baare mein itna sochti hoon. Kal uss kyun ka jawaab mil gaya. Jab woh itna paas the, tab bhi mujhe aur paas chahiye the, tab jawaab mil gaya tha. Jab unhone haath pakda aur phir main chahti thi ki woh kabhi chhode nahi, tab jawaab mil gaya. Jab unhone apni hoodie di and abhi tak, I cannot bring myself to take it off, tab jawaab mil gaya.

Woh kya hain mere liye, iska jawaab mil gaya. Kyun itna sochti hoon, iska jawaab mil gaya. Mere saamne hi tha, par... main accept nahi karna chahti thi. I love him. Mujhe... Mujhe Karan Sir se pyaar ho gaya hai. I have fallen for him. I am in love with him.'

Monami clutched her knees to her chest, his hoodie drowning her- the hoodie she had spent hours imagining to be his strong, lean arms- staring at the diary. There! She had written it. Officially admitted it. She let the tiny smile pull through the nervousness that was making her shake.

She was in love with Karan Shergill. So hopelessly, irrevocably, and desperately in love.

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

"Are you sure unn logon ne tum dono ko nahi dekha? Notice nahi kara?" Param asked. Karan nodded. He had been watching carefully. There was not been the slightest indication they realized it. Param exhaled, looking at the white board with their information on it. He currently sat in his room, Faizi on his bed as he worked on some paperwork simultaneously. "So, if what they said was true, the attack is not on 26th. So, we have anywhere between 15 days and no upper cap."

"Doosri date 20th Feb ki hai", Faizi commented. "Do you think they'll try to stick to that?"

"Ho sakta hai", Karan agreed. "Agar hum yeh assume kare ki unhe 2nd attack tab karna hai, toh we have between 15 days to 40 days." He grabbed the map of the jungle, tracing lightly the path they had taken on the walk. He patted the spot, marking it with a small marker. There. There was the camp. "These are the people that'll help them escape."

"Inhe hi attack karte hain. Main details plan karta hoon", Param said.

Karan glanced up, an idea sparking in his head and he stared at his brother for a long, quiet moment. "I have an idea."

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

Sid glanced up from his laptop, frowning at the rapid knock. No one knocked like that generally. He hopped off the bed, throwing the door open. Monami.

"Sid", she cried out, snaking her arms around him.

"Kya ho gaya, baccha?" He said softly, patting her head. "Tu theek hai?" She nodded, and he guided her in, closing the door behind her. "Kya hua? Baith tu." He knelt down in front of her, taking in her wide eyes. "Ab bol. Did you have a bad dream?"

"I love Karan Sir", she blurted out.

He froze. What? He stared into her eyes, blinking. Did he hear her right? She loved him? "Huh?"