Ishq-e-Watan

Chapter 91- Inching Closer

CHAPTER 91

INCHING CLOSER

'Do you really think agar main use jaakar bolunga ki main usse pyaar karta hoon, woh khushi khushi meri girlfriend ban jaayegi?' 'Haan.'

Karan stared at his shadow on the wall next to his bed, the light showering on him from where Faizi was working on the table. Despite his want to not think about the topic, he found himself remembering the words anyway. Even after he had realized his feelings, he had put a stop to any fantasies of them getting together pretty soon. After all, there was no way, right? He had never paused to think, to consider, to analyze whether she could possibly, on the tiniest chance, actually love him back.

"Karan?" Faizi said. He glanced up, finding him frowning at him. "So jao. Itni kis baat ki tension?"

"Tension nahi hai", he said, turning to his back and looking at him. "Faizi?" The older agent hummed. "Do you... Do you think Monami... Monami ko mere liye feelings ho sakti hain?"

Faizi paused typing, turning his head to stare at him. "Hume lagta hai use hain", he said. "Yeh achaanak se kyun puchh rahe ho?"

"Aise hi", he murmured, turning to his side and staring at the wall again. The typing resumed again. He turned to his back again. "Agar... Agar use main pasand hoon, toh... toh usne kuchh kyun nahi bola?"

"Tum bhi toh usse pyaar karte ho", he said, not taking his eyes off the laptop. "Tumne bola? There can be a lot of reasons, Karan. She must have a reason, even if it is as common as fear of rejection."

He turned to his side again, staring at the shadow again. So, say, she liked him. Who's to say she'll want a relationship? And even if she does, should they? Was it a wise move?

'Calculatedness apni personal life se bahar nikaal.'

Did he want to be with her? Yes. He wanted to be able to tell her he loved her- for her to know he did, to be able to call himself hers, to be able to come home to her. There really wasn't much he wanted more than to come home to her.

He closed his eyes, the thoughts swirling in his mind. He wasn't sure where the thoughts ended and the sleep began but somewhere in the middle, his trail of thoughts had been left stranded.

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

Karan walked quietly, his boots barely making a noise as they hit the ground. He wasn't sure where he was, though the corridors were familiar. The white of the walls was plain and boring but it drew his attention for a split second. It was like a hospital.

He turned a corner. It was the trauma floor, he now recognized. His feet froze. Nawaz looked up, his mouth twisting in a smirk. Monami struggled in his arms fruitlessly, trying to get out of his strong grip. He couldn't move. His mind screamed at him. Protect her. He couldn't move. He jerked her neck, and he froze again. His mind blanked. Nawaz let her fall to the ground, and he flinched violently when it hit the ground.

He blinked.

Nawaz had disappeared. He walked closer, his boots quiet even in the deathly silence of the corridor. He knelt down, staring at her face. Her dead face. She was... dead? Just like that? He reached out with shaking fingers. No pulse. No. No!

His eyes snapped open. The room was dark. So dark. Just like the corridor. His heart pounded wildly in his chest, his clothes sticking to him in cold sweat. He couldn't move for a terrifying second. He gasped lightly, feeling the rest of his body. He pushed himself up, sitting up. Just a dream.