Ishq-e-Watan

Chapter 109- Of Nervous Conversations

CHAPTER 109

OF NERVOUS CONVERSATIONS

"Does it bother you?" Parikshit asked quietly. Monami hummed in question, looking up from the homework of Advanced Deduction. It was just the two of them in the mess, others having scattered around to attend the classes of their chosen electives. Monami and Parikshit, both with Psychological Operations, or PsychOps, had the slot off.

"What b-bothers me?" Monami asked.

"That you killed someone", he muttered.

She looked up, taking him in. His fingers traced the mug. Monami hadn't realized he was bothered, but now, she wasn't sure how she missed it. "Nahi", she admitted. "I mean... it's... it's a heavy thing. It st-stays with you. I... I dreamt of it. But... But I am n-not guilty." She tilted her head. "Are you?"

He didn't respond for several long seconds, before he jerked his head down slightly. "I... I asked Sid too, you know", he muttered. "He wasn't guilty either. He hadn't killed anyone, but he wasn't very shaken up about it. Do you... Do you think it's because you two had army personnel so close? Koel is... Koel is taking it hard."

"Maybe", Monami muttered. Perhaps, it was having a family member in army. Or perhaps, it was the unforgiving hate they had for terrorists. Nobody liked them, of course. Everyone hated them. Koel's hands hadn't shaken when she had stabbed the guy, and Parikshit's fingers had pulled the trigger without a second thought. But it wasn't quite personal for the others, not the way it was for her or Sid, or Suman ji, if she thought about it. She gently kept her hand on Parikshit's, gently stroking the back of his palm with her thumb in comfort. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Talking to Kavu helped", he admitted. "We talked about a scenario where we didn't kill them, and... and it was so bad it made killing them seem better."

She nodded. "It made it seem n-necessary?" Parikshit nodded. She smiled slightly. "She is a smart girl."

He hummed, smiling. "I love her so much", he said softly. "I am not sure what I will do without her. Sometimes, I cannot believe she is mine, even after so many years saath mein. I think... I think you will really like her. I wish you guys would meet her soon."

'People cannot know about us.'

"Can I... Can I ask you something?" She asked. "Just... curiosity sake."

He gave her a bemused look, nodding. "Puchh, na, Mona. Whatever you want."

"When you... you are in a relationship, do you always... want to tell everyone? Flaunt it?"

Parikshit hummed. "I mean, there are very valid reasons people hide relationships", he said. "Especially jab naya naya hota hai. Some people believe nazar lag jaayegi. Some are just a little shy and uncomfortable kyunki sab naya hai. But you at least, have a desire to show the person off. At least, jitna maine dekha hai."

"Sabko hoti hai?" She asked.

"Mona... soch, tere paas kuchh bahut keemti cheez hai jo sirf teri hai. Tujhe bahut pyaari hai woh cheez. Kya tujhe mann nahi karega ki tu logon se baat kare, unhe bataaye ki tujhe kitni pasand hai woh cheez?" He asked. "The only time when people don't have a desire to show their partner off, is when they are ashamed of them."

Ashamed? That... That couldn't be. Karan wasn't ashamed of her. He must have had reasons to hide it as fiercely.

'There is no way people can know we are in a relationship.'

Karan couldn't be ashamed of her. Right?

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