Ishq-e-Watan

Chapter 87- The Advent of Change

CHAPTER 87

THE ADVENT OF CHANGE

Sanju stared at her quiet boyfriend. It was always strange to see him with such tensed shoulders, mouth pursed tightly in a frown and his gaze darkened into unwelcomed thoughts. "Siddharth?"

His gaze lifted to hers, and the dark look disappeared slightly, his gaze softening slightly. "Hmm?"

"Kaa soch raho hai aisa? Kal se dekh raho hain, kuchh theek sa naa lag raho hai tu."

He sighed, leaning against the railing of the terrace. It was a long way down and he slightly pushed himself away from the railing, keeping his gaze fixed on the city lights. He was terrified of heights, Sanju had often noticed. "I... I talked to Param Bhaiya."

Her eyes widened. She tilted her head, staring at him. "Kaa... Kaa baat karo?"

He looked at her for a long moment. He took a step closer, gently grabbing her hand. "What do you know about my relationship with Bhaiya?"

She blinked. "Zyaada kuchh naa. Hume pato hai tu aur Monami, Bhaiya ko pehle se jaanto the. Aur yeh pato hai ki tum dono unhe zyaada pasand naa karto. Bas itno hi."

He pursed his lips. "Aisa nahi hai hum unhe pasand nahi karte, Sanju." She frowned. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that they didn't exactly get along. He sighed. "Juhi Aunty Param Bhaiya ke pehle commander the." Her eyes widened. "That's how we met him. We were close. Kaafi close. Main aur Monu... hum dono ke liye he was like an older brother. Family." He gently rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand. "Jab Juhi Aunty shaheed hue the... woh hum dono ke liye sabse bura time tha. And not... not just because Aunty nahi the humaare saath... but..." He let out a shaky breath. "There were... other reasons. Jis... Jis tarah Aunty shaheed hue the, jo circumstances the uske around... it wasn't pretty. And when we needed Bhaiya the most, he left. Woh hum dono ko chhodkar chale gaye. Aisa nahi hai main unhe pasand nahi karta. Bas... unhe dekhkar ab bas unka jaana hi yaad aata hai."

She gently snaked her arms around his neck and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. His warm breath gently tickled her neck, the two standing in silence under the moonlight that illuminated them. "Aisa... kaa hua tha Ma'am ke shaheedi ke saath?" He tensed up, his grip tightening around her waist. "Kaa... Kaa Monami ke saath jo hua, uss sabse-"

"Sanju", he cut her off. "I... I don't want to talk about this. Abhi nahi. I will tell you. I promise I will. Ek din. But aaj nahi."

She bit her lip, not entirely happy being in the unknown. But he wasn't ready to talk about it. This wasn't an interrogation. She needed to take a step back about certain stuff. "Theek hai", she muttered softly. "Kaa tujhe yeh bataano hogo ki teri aur Param Sir ji ki kaa baat hui?"

He sighed, taking a step back away from her. She almost wanted to take her words back. Had she said something wrong? But he didn't seem to be angry or frustrated, just thoughtful and overwhelmed- perhaps, unsure of what he should be feeling. "I... I asked him why he left", he said softly. "You know... for the longest of times, all I wanted was to ask him ki... kyun? Kyun aise hi chale gaye the woh? Par jaise jaise time gaya, saal guzre, meri... meri naraazgi badhti gayi and then, I never wanted to ask him kyun. I stopped caring kyun. I just... never wanted to see him again. But... I had to ask. And... he... he said he regretted it. Regretted leaving."

She stared at him. His eyes had welled up with tears. It was strange to hear all this about Param. If it had been anyone else, perhaps she would have been furious. Hateful, resentful for hurting him, leaving him, making him cry. But it was Param. And she knew he wasn't the one in the right here- at least, not by what little context Sid had given her- but she couldn't bring any resentment out. "Toh... tujhe achha lagna chahiyo, na? Ki... Ki unko unki galti ka ehsaas hogo?"