Ishq-e-Watan

Chapter 101- Trying To Change The Tides

CHAPTER 101

TRYING TO CHANGE THE TIDES

Faizi liked to think he was a mature person. When he was surrounded by stubborn idiots like Karan, he was generally the voice of reason. Having said that, he was also self-aware enough that he wasn't always the best at dealing with any lingering issues that came over from his abandonment. That meant he was terrible at dealing with liars, traitors and people who walked out. In hindsight, it was probably too dramatic to categorize Koel as a liar. She had always been upfront. In his defense, he did admit openly he was terrible at dealing with his issues.

Koel didn't come to talk to him. He didn't blame her. She was generally always the one who came and talked. It was about time he should go. He was wrong, he knew, if only because of the fact Karan seemed to like reminding him that every hour or so. It still took him an entire day to go and talk to her.

"Oh", Koel snapped when she opened the door. "Are you ready to listen to me? Yaa mujhe accuse karne aaye ho?"

He grimaced. "Hum baat karna chahte hain", he said.

She looked him over, before opening the door wider and letting him in. She crossed her arms, sitting down on the bed and he took the chair, resting his chin on the back of it. It was quiet for a few minutes. Faizi searched the words. He came up blank. "I thought tumhe baat karni thi?" She prompted after a few seconds.

He looked at her. "Do you miss Abhay?"

She heaved a giant sigh. "Why is that important, Faizi?" She cried out, standing up and pacing.

"It's not!" He snapped. "But jab tum humse cheezen chhupati ho, jhooth bolti ho, woh important hai humaare liye."

She took a deep breath. "I am not really lying, Faizi", she muttered, sitting down. "It's complicated." He gritted his teeth but didn't say anything else. Just stared at her. "Do you miss your dad, Faizi?" He blinked at the unexpected question. "And think about it. I mean, do you miss jab woh actually effort daalte hain, jab woh tumhaara ammi ko khush rakhte the. Do you miss that part of your dad?"

He pursed his lips. "Ek time par", he said.

She nodded slightly. "Isn't that complicated? Missing your dad while you hate him?"

He sighed. "Koel, tum kya-"

"I am just saying, I don't miss him. Not... Not in the sense ki I actively wish ki woh ho, waapas aa jaye. I don't. Main bahut saal pehle woh sab chhod diya hai wish karna. But... I do cherish him, Faizi. He's the father of my child. There are times when I hate myself ki main usko utna miss nahi karti, ki main move on kar chuki hoon. Sometimes, I miss that I miss him." She sighed. "I am... I am not sure tum samajh sakte ho ya nahi iss cheez ko. But the point is ki... Abhay mera past hai, there's always going to be a soft spot for him par I am not lying agar main kahoon ki nahi, main usko miss nahi kar rahi hoon. Because that would mean I want him back in my life, and I have moved on from that. I miss how uncomplicated my life was then, but not... not him. I hate saying that... because it makes me feel like a bad wife, okay?"

Faizi wasn't sure if he understood her. Sure, he kind of got what she was saying but it was incomprehensible to him on a level of empathy that he rarely had problems with. He pursed his lips, nodding slowly. "Okay", he said. "I... I guess I get what you mean."

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't", he agreed. He sighed, sitting down next to her. "But... you are right. You... You didn't lie to me and... and I should have listened to you and talked to you." She nodded. "Hume maaf kar do?"

She smiled, hitting his shoulder lightly. "Of course", she muttered, pressing her lips to his. He kissed her back sweetly, pulling back after a moment. "I love you."