Ishq-e-Watan

Chapter 116- Of Outbursts and Stifled Emotions

CHAPTER 116

OF OUTBURSTS AND STIFLED EMOTIONS

Koel stared at the ceiling blankly. She wasn't sure how it had gone so wrong so quickly. She had been so happy. Her Mendhak, her life, he had loved Faizi. When she had knelt to hug him before he had left, he had whispered in her ear. So sweetly, so innocently.

'Unko Papa bolna padega yaa Abu?'

She had been speechless but he had backtracked and told her that he was only going to call him that if he approved of him and he had not yet decided. But she was his mother and she had seen the hopeful, loving look he stared at the man with. He was so charmed.

How dare Faizi? How dare he give her son so much love, so much hope to have a father and then tell her he wasn't his father? Nikhil was smart. He would realize why Faizi didn't marry her. He would be so heartbroken. How dare he? How dare he break his heart?

And it was with that rage she stormed through the academy halls. To his room. The door was locked. She knocked strongly. If she was calmer, perhaps she would have been wary of Karan's possible annoyance at the noise, but she didn't care. How dare Faizi?

The door opened.

And her rage drained. Faizi looked terrible. He stared at her with blank eyes. For a terrifying moment, she thought he wouldn't even recognize her. She swallowed, staring at him. He didn't apologize, nor did he snap at her. Neither hugged her, nor shut the door in her face. He merely turned around, walking back inside.

She entered, closing the door behind him. "Faizi..." Her voice wasn't as hesitant as her mind.

He was sitting on his bed, pushed into a corner. Faizi was a tall man. She had never thought of him as small. And yet... She swallowed. He looked so miserable that she wanted to hold him, and kiss his face and soothe him. Her heart clenched, and she opened her mouth, and then closed it. What should she say?

The silence in the room was stifling. She had come with words on the tip of her tongue. Questions. Complaints. Anger. They had died the moment her gaze had laid on him.

"Hume chhodna hai, toh itna hichkicha kyun rahi ho?" His hoarse voice broke the stifling quiet.

She opened her mouth. What should she say? She didn't want to leave him. Her heart pounded in her ears. Her brain caught up. Why should she leave him? "Main kyun jaun?" She asked. Her eyebrows furrowed. "Main kyun chhodun tumhe?"

His gaze lifted to hers. Confused. For a long moment, the two merely stared at each other. Confused. Didn't the other want to leave?

Koel walked closer, sitting down. "Agar tum Nikhil ko nahi accept karna chahte, toh main nahi, tum jaaoge. Main kyun jaungi? Main usi position mein hoon jismein main tab thi jab humne date karna shuru kara tha. A widow with a child. Jaoge toh tum. Main nahi."

He seemed to break at that, and he grabbed at her, her arms, her shoulders and then her face. "Hum jaayenge?" He demanded. She gasped. His eyes were wide and boring into hers scarily. "Hum jaayenge tumhe chhodkar? Kahan jaayenge hum? Kiske paas?" He released his hold, staring at her with tearful eyes. The anger seemed to drain just as fast as it had come, and he merely stared at her. "Humne kab kaha tumse ki hum tumhe chhodna chahte hain? Hum bas tumhe bataana chahte the ki hum... hume darr lag raha hai. Nikhil ko dekhkar, usse baat karke, hume aur zyaada lagta hai. Hum... Hum apne Abu jaise hue toh?" Her stomach dropped. "Aaj tak unke diye ghaav se dard hota hai. Humne aisi galti kardi toh? Uski zindagi barbaad kardi toh? Tumhe kyun nahi dikh raha? Hume bas darr lag raha hai, Koel."