My Little Penguin

Chapter Nineteen

Becca's POV

All I could to was stare at Catt's scare-coated thighs. I felt my heart slowly break piece by piece the more my eyes raked over her.

"Becca, please say something," she choked out.

I looked up at her with teary grey eyes that most likely looked worse than normal. I took her hand in my own and squeezed it.

"I-I'm not m-mad. J-Just ups-set," I stammered.

Catt's chest heaved as she let out a sigh of relief. I leant up and kissed her, seeing as I was very tiny and only 5'2 whilst Catt was easily 5'6 or so.

"I thought you'd be pissed or something," Catt chucked through tears.

I shook my head rapidly, "N-No, I c-couldn't b-be pissed a-at you! Y-You can't h-help th-this."

Catt pulled me in once more for a hug, my tiny hands against her chest. I could feel tears beginning to dampen my black sweater, but I ignored it, I had to be there for Catt.

"C-Catt, I n-need to t-tell you so-some-something. M-More like sh-show y-you."

Each time I spoke, my throat would ache even more, begging to be rested. It had gone through so much straining throughout the years that the longer I'm awake, the more it hurts. When my mom took my in last year for my check up, the doctor had told us the older I get, I'll either get better ir worse. And if it gets worse, I might me so incoherent that I'll have to go mute.

"Go ahead and show me, baby."

I nodded and slipped my sweater over my head. Catt's chocolaty brown orbs widened and filled with tears. On my wrists, arms, tummy, and sides were countless cuts and gashes. I had started when I was 13, when my mom first started disappearing. Slowly, though, it became my escape.

"P-Penguin, oh my God, Becca. When-How long? When was the last time you self harmed," Catt asked while trembling.

"A-Almost f-five y-years," I mumbled, looking down.

I heard Catt gasp and let out a tiny sob. She grabbed my hands and kissed my knuckles before moving up and down my arms and every other place there was a cut or scare. Each one she lefe made my skin burn in such a good way.

"Why," Catt asked after she was done.

"M-My mom s-started l-leaving a-and st-stuff. A-After a w-while, it b-became r-release. I-If s-school was g-getting out of hand, i-if my m-mom was g-gone, if I-I got picked o-on. A-Anything, r-really," I choked.

Tears began forming in my eyes and before I knew it, I was sobbing into Catt's chest with no top on. Her touch was calming and soothing. But that didn't stop the tears or the sobs. Nothing did. The sweet nothings Catt was mumbling, the tiny patterns she was drawing into my back, the little neck pecks I was receiving. Nothibg was helping.

"Hey, shh, hey, hey. Calm down, baby, I'm right here. I know what this feels like. We can help each other, okay?"

I nodded before detaching myself from my girlfriend's torso and slipping my sweater back on. Catt pecked my still-visible collar bones as we scootched back down under my large duvet.

"Go to sleep, babe. I'll be here in the morning and we can interview Emily. If you like her, we can go out for a real date and everything. If you don't, we can keep searching."

I nodded before cuddling deep into Catt's chest, closing my eyes in the process and falling asleep, but.not before hearing a small,

"I promise, penguin."

---
Heyo! Sorry if this is shit, but what else is different. I tried to make it long but I literally wrote this in like, 15 minutes so I wouldn't miss my update day. Anywhore, I hope you liked it! Peace out girl scout!
-Bear