sin - woosan

t h i r t y - t w o

Slamming his fists into the sink, he was about ready to scream at his reflection. How could he do this? How could he let it slip? He was ready to risk it all in a single slip up? Everything he tried to keep under wraps was unraveling before him and all he could do was watch as it all fell apart. He has to be more careful next time, he can't allow himself to lose everything in one go. He wouldn't let it be that way. He couldn't.

+++

Pounding was all he could feel. Was it a really bad migraine or a super harsh hangover? He couldn't tell, nor did he care to find out. He found pills on the side of his bed, he must've drank a lot last night. How did he let himself lash out? How did he let himself go that badly? Over a guy? He felt pathetic, he swallowed the pill dry, it was bitter, but it was as though nothing could sweeten his sour mood.

+++

Tugging at his hair, he couldn't believe himself. He almost let his buried thoughts rule. He lay on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Everything and nothing passed through his mind. It was so loud, yet not a sound could be heard. It was so heavy, yet not a word could be deciphered. It felt like so much, yet it was in fact so little. He was lost in the in between and he didn't know if he could get himself out of it.

+++

Clocking in felt like torture to Wooyoung, as his mind was jumbled up, and the few drinks he had in his system were not helping. He greeted who passed him, absently waving at his friends, before heading to the back room to get his day started. He doesn't regret going out last night, well— that was a lie. He did regret going out last night, as many things didn't go according to plan, but he knew he needed to loosen up.

The outing, however, seemed to tense him up more than before, though...

"Morning, champ!" A cheery voice called out to him.

He didn't turn to them, just continued on wearing his attire.

"Tough night?" The voice continued.

Wooyoung nodded.

He knew the person was frowning at his lack of communication, but he was exhausted, instead he turned around and gave Seyoung a smile.

"Good morning, Seyoung."

She smiled softly at him, "morning, Woo."

She felt empathetic that he had to work when he so clearly didn't want to, but it was still his tutoring days with her. It was one of their last, actually.

They had grown quite close due to this, and Seyoung was picking up on things fast. Wooyoung would often tell her she would make a great manager around here, much more than any waiter amongst them. He wondered why there was a week long introduction to waitressing anyways, but silently they were both happy because that would mean more time spent together. Even though they had only met recently, they had a bond like no other, Wooyoung couldn't explain it. He wasn't sure if even Seyoung could.

So, that's how he spent his day. Slurring the words and face palming at himself, making Seyoung giggle at his state, yet still remaining silent during his "teachings." During their breaks, they would talk to either Yeonjun or Taehyung or any of the girls there. Wooyoung was glad he found these people at his work place, it wasn't everyday you like your coworkers.

He had received messages from Hyunjin and Chan asking him to visit soon, but today was clearly not the day of visitations for Wooyoung, so when the day was over, he was spent.

"You ready?" Seyoung asked.

It was just the two of them, tonight Wooyoung was teaching her how to 'close the diner for the night.' This was mainly in case of emergencies or for future reference. After his little 1Vs1 with the lock and key, Wooyoung sighed, shoulders sagging as he started to walk over to Seyoung.

"Aww," she consoled, wrapping her arms around him as he fell right in. "What happened to you?" She lightly giggled as Wooyoung snuggled into her.

"Don' wanna talk 'bout it," his voice sounded muffled from his cheeks being squished between the crook of her neck and her shoulder blade.

"Okay, bubba," she said mockingly, gently stroking his hair as she rocked him about. After a moment, she grew tired, "Wooo~", she whined. "I'm cold~! Let's go home, I'll coddle you there!" Wooyoung pouted, but soon agreed, taking out the car keys and driving off a few minutes later.

+++

He didn't know why he was here again, music pumping loudly in his ears. He wasn't in search of anything or anyone for that matter, he just needed to feel something other than that ugly feeling set inside of him. There were so many better things or better places to be, but this one was the only one that felt like home to him somehow.

Blazed nights, blurred lines, unfocused hands brush upon new skin. He wasn't supposed to be here, but while he is, he'll make it last. His lips were shared amongst many a woman, dancing dangerously and touching places he shouldn't be touching.

He couldn't even feel his body moving, it was as though it was on autopilot, or muscle memory. His teeth tugged at the new lips locked with his, as he needed to feel anything. He was losing his mind as he was losing himself into the music. He knew this would not help his case, but it's all that he knew.

He was so tired, so many nights spent like this, he should be tired, yet he keeps on coming back, time and time again. He was aware this wasn't right, but he knew he'd find himself here many more times than he would like to admit. This night would not be over any time soon....