Stumbling into his house, he was bumping into every table, almost knocking down his expensive vases, causing a ruckus. Obviously not being silent, that caused his fiancée to make her way into his peripheral vision.
"San? What- What happened to you?" Jiho rushed to his side, stabilizing him.
He almost pushed her away, but instead used her to keep himself standing as he wobbled on his feet.
"San- You- you reek of alcohol! Did you go drinking again? How many times this week! You know I haven't seen you sober since—"
"COULD YOU JUST SHUT IT!?" San snapped, leaving distance between them.
"Wha— San—"
"Save it, Jiho. You don't really care about me, you- you- you're forced to love me. Just like everybody else. No one— no one really ever—"
She shushed him, placing her hand on his cheek, dismissing the wetness forming under his eyes. "Sannie, what have you done to yourself?"
His whole demeanor sagged at the question, he was close to bursting out in tears but held it in, if his father saw him right now he'd be the laughingstock of the family, not like he wasn't already. Jiho remained holding him close, her eyes soft as she stared at his shaky ones.
"San, you know that's not true. Even though what we had was not based on love, I wasn't forced to love or care for you. I may not love you yet, but I'm trying to. I want to. Not because I have to, but because you have a lot of good qualities in a man. Whether you see that or not." She rocked him as his eyes dropped and his lips went slack.
"But—"
"No buts," she insisted. "Now, let's get you to bed. You must be exhausted."
She was right, he was. He's been continuously pouring himself alcohol over repressed feelings he didn't even understand. He had no clue what was the cause of this sudden need to drown his emotions with alcohol, but it was getting too strong, and he was getting too weak.
Jiho walked him up the stairs carefully, allowing him to lean on her as she did so. She lay him on the bed as she went to the bathroom to soak a towel and wash away his sweaty skin. He watches her intently as she cleans his skin, taking in the small pout on her lips at his state. She then started undressing him, so he could be more comfortable and laid him flat on the bed. She also left a pill and glass of water by his side in case he needed it later on.
Just as she was about to leave him alone to rest, San tugged on her arm, letting her look at him questioningly. She tilted her head when San said nothing, he could see it now. He understood what Wooyoung saw in her and why he loved her so much. She was caring and gentle in her actions. So soft and loving, even when she didn't feel that towards him. She still helped him, even when he never cared to do the same. In his eyes, he didn't deserve her, or Wooyoung for that matter, but he was far too deep into it to ever back down now.
He was still unaware of himself when Jiho spoke, "Sannie... Is there something bothering you? You can talk to me about it, you know I'll listen to you... Are you.... Are you okay?" She seemed so concerned, San hated that. He hated how sweet she was being to him, he wasn't worthy of it. Not when he was out and about kissing other people while she waited for him day and night. He didn't know how to deal with all of this, so he just shook his head.
She frowned, but nodded her head in understanding, "fair enough, but if you ever—"
Lips crashed together as San gently cupped her cheek in his rough palm. He was desperate enough for her to have pulled her in deeper. She complied and kissed him back, laying her hand on his shoulder as it rose to his nape, tugging lightly at the bottom. She whined softly, and just as San was about to tower over her, she pulled back. Her red lips matched the rosy color of her cheeks as she tried to create a coherent sentence.
"We can," she clears her throat and stares at San before continuing, "we can do this at any time you want, San, but for now, you're drunk and probably really tired. Let's just sleep it off, hm?" Her tilted head caught his attention again.
So sweet.
He silently agrees and adjusts himself under the covers, as she moves closer to the door.
"You're not going to sleep next to me?" San asked confused.
"Not tonight, no. I think I'll just stay in the guests room this time, don't worry about me." She shared a small smile at him before closing the door with a light, "have a good night, San."
San sighed, laying his head on the pillow and rubbing his temples. He was trying to understand all the emotions he was feeling right now. While staring at Jiho, he couldn't help but imagine Wooyoung, and that frightened him.
He was unaware of how addicted he was becoming to the younger. He didn't know what to make of it yet, but he didn't want to figure that out now, especially so close to the wedding.
Slamming his head into his pillow, he almost screamed at the memory of the wedding coming up. He wasn't sure what to do anymore, but he knew he needed more time to figure everything out.
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a/n: hello hello! how'd you like this one 🤔 we're getting more insight on san's feelings 🫣 i'm really curious on your thoughts on the story so far, so pls do share 👀🍿
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sin - woosan
Fanfiction« san, this is wrong » « that didn't stop you before » ☂︎︎☂︎︎☂︎︎ ➪ in which wooyoung falls in love with his ex girlfriend's new husband.
