Blinded Devotion || Theseus Scamander

Twenty

In 1923, after what had occurred in Amal's life, her father had demanded she stay in London. Her mother had begged her daughter to stay with her, and Zyra only had tears in her eyes when Amal had told her what had happened, but what she had told her parents was not full. Or else they would find a way for her to stay at home.
She bought an apartment, near the Minister of Magic, so her walks over there weren't long or tiring, only brief.
But the briefness of these walks brought back memories she never thought of when she stayed still. She recalled walking to MACUSA, the walks were longer, she'd often meet Ilyana, or Tina and Queenie along the way, sometimes they even stopped to have a cup of coffee.
But now, even though, that horrific  event had happened to her and had only lasted two days, these two days had followed her all the way around New York until she tried to leave it behind wherever she could.
And as much as they tried to cling onto her, pulling her back from her shoulders she had refused to think about it. If she believed it was all gone, it was gone. But what had remained of it on her body told a different version.

Once, she had went to visit Lana at the hospital she worked.
The first thing Lana had done when she saw Amal walking through the doors was run to embrace her friend whom she had shared many moments with.
And the way Lana had held onto Amal, made tears flow freely, as if she brought a sense of warmth she hadn't felt in a very long time. Lana hadn't asked anything, and Amal pretended she was only there for a brief visit.
Lana had taken her to a different room, and Amal slowly took of her coat, and lifted her blouse without saying anything until Lana saw what was there. She didn't hear anything, just a small gasp, and from the mirror she had seen Lana's face.
"Can you make them vanish, Lana? Please." Amal looked down at her back heels and waited, with her shirt lifted. She waited for an answer, anything.
"Amal" Lana muttered sympathetically slowly taking a few steps forward, and delicately traced her finger on a big scar.
Amal inhaled sharply and spoke "Please".
"I will see what I can do, Am. But it is not easy. It will take some time and it might hurt, I cannot promise you no pai-"
"It's fine, Lala. I trust you, I always have." Amal turned around to face her friend, who forced a smile and went to wrap her arms around the other.
"I'm so sorry".
Amal wrapped her arms around her and squeezed, just like how she used to do years ago "Don't be. It's all right. I am fine, thank you".
Both broke away and Lana guided her to the bed and instructed her to sit and to remove her blouse.
Amal did as she was told and sat down quietly, she looked around the room, white and neat. A rook that smelled clean.
Lana prepared a few things before she re-approached Amal and sat behind her on a chair.
Amal felt Lana put something on her back, at first, it felt cold, like ice. But slowly, it felt as if it were penertrating her back, once again. Sharp pain ran through her back and Amal couldn't help but clutch on the mattress beneath her tightly.
She felt everything she had felt that first day, the pain but not the fear.
It was a bit hard to admit she was scared. Not because she was weak, everyone she knew and didn't know had a weakness deep down, no matter how hard they tried to hide it. But she did not want to appear scared to him, so someone like him or else he would've done much worse.
She squeezed her eyes shut as Lana kept on applying the cream on her back and spoke, keeping her hands still "Amal? Do you want me to stop? I can try a differeng way-"
"No, Lala. No. I'm fine."
Lana seemed to hesitate but when Amal nodded she got the reassurance she needed.
But Lana saw that Amal had old events occupying her mind, she felt the stiffness in her shoulders and how tense her muscles were, but Lana smiled kindly and began speaking, catching her friend's attention.
"Do you remember when I first met Jason? You know, I was so close to say no to the butterbeer, you know, when Theseus offered" she chuckled and Amal, with her eyes closed smiled at the thought and nodded.
"Yes, I remember and now you're married and expecting your second child, life worked out kindly to you, you deserve it, Lala."
"Amal?"
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you something, be honest?"
"Since when am I dishonest?" Amal laughed and the pain eased.
"How are things with theseus?"
"I haven't spoken to him yet, it's only been a week, and I haven't seen him. I never told you this but, when he was about to leave for war, he came to me. He gifted me a book I held in my hands in our third year, Lala. And he had kept it for all these years. When he left, the letter he gave me made me feel as if I had been blinded through all these years, Lala. And I hadn't known, but I wish I had. In the letter, he told me that he loved me and that when he came back we would make up for all the time wasted. And when he came back, I was gone. He didn't answer any of my letters, for they were always returned and I was so confused, Lala. But the letter he had given me couldn't have been a lie. I know it. The words reached to me, and sat inside my heart and accompanied me until they didn't. " she said calmly and her voice cracked at times, she sniffed and closed her eyes, Lana moved to sit in front of her, and applied the cold cream on her collar bones.
"Lala, he loved me all those years in school, and I didn't see. And I loved him through our last three years and he didn't see. I guess we were both blinded by hidden devotion" a single tear fell down her cheeks, and Lana was grateful Amal couldn't see her.
Lana wiped her own tears before looking up, as if the sight of her friend's state broke her.
"I know".
"What?"
"Amal, did you think I too, was blind? Even though you had never told me, I knew. You couldn't hide it, you didn't hide it and yet it was only hidden to Theseus' eyes. Jason knew too. We all knew, except for you two. Oh, Amal".
"Do you think he still loves me?"
"I wouldn't dare to think otherwise, Am. Listen, come to dinner tomorrow night, please? I miss you, Jason and Junia miss you too" Lana said smiling now, Amal looked at her and nodded and muttered a fine with a small smile on her face.

"Am, I cannot let them disappear completely, there is no way. I'm sorry".
"It's okay. As soon as they aren't as visibile. I'm filled with scars like this, Lala."
But Lana, partly, had felt responsable for what had happened to Amal, because she had wanted Amal to go on a date with him.
"Im sorry, Am. I shouldn't have pushed you to go out with him, I'm so sorry. If I had known-"
"You hadn't known, Lala. It is not your fault and if you continue to feel responsabile, I promise, Lala I will hex you," the girls looked at one another, and like they had done in their school years they laughed for no reason.
But Amal felt more at ease, as if Lana knew how to make her feel at ease.
Lana grabbed Amal's long hair and moved it away from the balm, she began to braid it like the old times and tucked it over Amal's shoulder.
Amal's hand found its way to it and kept her hand over it.
"Can I tell you something?" said Lana, Amal nodded.
"You remember that summer, where you went to see Theseus and you both wore the same color?"
Amal gasped and looked at her with wide eyes "Don't tell me you and Jason had something to do with it?"
"You are in no position to blame us!"
Lana snorted after speaking and Amal laughed uncontrollably, her chest shaking with laughter. Her chest filling itself with the happiness that vanished years ago. So with whatever her chest was filled with, it felt new as much as it felt familiar.

Someone knocked at the door, Lana rushed to it and barely opened it and Amal recognized the voice, Jason.
She obsvered Lana, how her head tilted and the smile that was on her face and how she moved her foot.
Amal saw Lana move forward and kiss Jason. The girl looked away as a gentle feeling crept over her.
She then closed the door and rushed toward Amal.
"Jason?"
"Yes, he wants to see you. It isn't a problem I told him you were here, right?"
"Not at all".
"How about, instead of tomorrow, you come over today? Please, Am."

"All right, Lala. It's fine".
Lana smiled in victory and clapped her hands before kissing Amal's cheek.

Amal hadn't realized how much she had missed her best friend until that day.