harry potter imagines

james potter x reader: someone great

JAMES POTTER X READER

"the saddest thing is to be a minute to someone, when you've made them your eternity." - Sanober Khan

warnings: none

-

"What are you staring at?" James asked with a laugh, his dark eyes running along your face looking for a clue as to what was so interesting.

"Just lost in thought, as usual, I suppose." Honestly, you were lost in James Potter- not that you would've let him know. It was your best-kept secret that you relished in his compliments and grinned at the thought of his name.

"Well, get unlost- it's been ages since we've gotten together just, you and me," James teased, bumping your arms gently.

You grinned, looking down at your ice cream sundae. It felt like lifetimes ago that you and James started the weekly tradition of getting ice cream sundaes together to ensure that you'd never grow apart. With exams, different friend groups, and your seventh year approaching, the two of you had put the tradition on hiatus. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't been waiting for James to ask you to join him for ice cream.

"Very well, I'll find my way out of all my thoughts, but only because it's for you," you joked, stealing a dollop of whipped cream from James's sundae. "Now, catch me up on everything- Sirius and Remus's sexual tension, Peter's newest obsession, and your mum's latest gossip."

"Or you can give me the spectacular, award-winning y/n advice that you always seem to have on hand?" James gave you a soft pleading pout, his dark eyelashes fluttering dramatically.

"Healer y/n is in session, but only if you have your mum make cheesecake the next time I come over," you bargained, extending your hand out for James to shake.

"Such extreme terms, but I suppose I'll accept," James played along, placing his hand in yours and shaking it professionally. "So, great healer y/n, what do you think love is?"

Your breath stilled for a moment, and you felt the cool metal of the spoon slip from your fingers as you attempted to fully wrap your head around James's words.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't think it'd catch you that off-guard," James chuckled in an uncharacteristically awkward manner. "We can just- you know, we can just start over."

It had caught you off-guard; the two of you had always been cautious to avoid walking the line between friends and something more. You and James rarely talked about matters of the heart, despite his liking towards Lily Evans being such a large part of his life. Though, you supposed it was long overdue that you and James shared the more intimate areas of each other's lives.

"No, it's okay," You quipped casually, despite your racing heart and warming temperature. "I guess, for me, love is being there for someone, despite knowing that there are some pieces of them you'll never understand. I don't think it's quite unconditional or unquestioning, but it is grounded in trust and faith."

The kitchen unexpectedly felt smaller, your heartbeat feeling quicker and louder with each second that James just stared back at you with an unreadable expression. It felt strangely nauseating and liberating to talk to James without much care about overstepping boundaries and speaking so earnestly.

"Do you think I'm a fool for loving Lily? I just- there is something about her, or maybe me, that says I can't just give up on her. I know Sirius, Remus, and Pete think that it's about the chase or it's some school-boy crush- I just want advice?" His words were a mess of questions and statements, and with each coded sentence, your heart began to feel weighed down by his words.

You, of course, knew about Lily Evans. And, you knew that this was where the question was really leading to. "Honestly?" You questioned, pushing aside the sundae to look at the hopeless romantic.

"Complete honesty, y/n." It was all the confirmation that you needed to hear.

"Honestly, I think that you're someone great; someone who gives everything they have to the people they love. You've matured and have shown that you're more than your ego and pranks. I- You're great, James," you rambled, your words free of filtration and flowing faster than your mind. "Love isn't presenting everything you have to someone, then realizing it's not enough, so you force yourself to change or deliver some guarantee that you have more to offer."

"Maybe it's just not love yet, maybe it's just a could-be love," James urged, his curls sways as he shook his head. "How do I know when to stop hoping that things will turn out a certain way with someone?"

"When you realize that's the thoughts of 'what-ifs' consume you- when you realize that it's hopeless- when you realize that he's too lost in someone else to notice you," you argued back, your mind drunk of the freedom of talking to James without carefully thinking through each thought. "I understand you completely, but at the same time, I don't understand you at all."

James faltered, his eyes scanning the way you held yourself and how your eyebrows knit together. "You like someone, don't you?" James asked, his shoulders dropping at the thought of being so wrapped up in himself he forgot about you.

"Yeah, I do."

"I'm sorry that you understand me," James half-heartedly joked, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry that you don't understand," you sighed, the confidence you held for a minute leaving you as quick as it had come.

James cocked his head to the side like a puppy, your words not quite clear enough for him to decipher. "I don't- what do you mean?"

"I mean, I wish you realized how great you are. I wished you would stop trying to reach what you think are Lily's expectations, and honestly, I wish you would just clear your mind of Lily for a minute," you lamented.

"What-what is someone great isn't enough for Lily?" James asked, his focus darting towards the melting chocolate ice cream in front of him.

"Then, she's not the brightest witch to grace Slughorn's classroom because you're enough for anyone," you burst out, your heart aching at the sight of confident James Potter so defeated.

"Everyone deserves a y/n in their life," James grinned, looking up at you, and for a moment just seeing you for all of you. All of your nuanced actions toward him, all of the compliments you'd given him, all of your looks. For just a moment, everything had cleared, and he understood you completely.

It was your turn to ask, "James, what are you looking at?"

"You," James confessed, his heart shattering at the sight of you smiling inquisitively.

"What?"

"I've been so blind- you like- I mean, you love-"

"James, stop," you begged as your heart dropped to your stomach. "Just stop because I know myself, and I know I can't hand whatever sweet apologies you'll provide me."

"Y/N, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, but I just- I can't not love her," James floundered, grabbing your wrist as you attempted to make your escape. "It's the way she lights up every room with a genuine smile, how the corners of her eyes crinkle when she says my name and the way she manages to take my breath like it's the first time I've ever seen her."

"Let me go, James," you begged, your cheeks wetted by tears you'd been holding in since the moment you realized you were wishing on a dying star. "I get it- I know how you feel, and I swear that if you let me go, I'll let you go."

Then, as if it were the simplest thing to do, his hand dropped, and you were free from him. It was everything you wanted at that moment, but it was also everything you wished he hadn't done.

"To hold onto you when I know I'm not going to feel that way about you is wrong, and you deserve space. You deserve closure," James explained, watching your heart break and your eyes dim as his warmth left your arm. "You deserve someone great."