Broken But Not Broken (COMPLETE)

8th grade (now)

Sorry I couldn't keep the story in order, but I have to let my feelings out!
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So, today was a Pajama Party, but not just at someone's house, no it was at school! Yay! (Sarcasm).
*Background*
So, I was dating this guy, we'll call him "Person", and I wasn't really happy with him, I wanted to break up, but I didn't know how.
*The "Party"*
He was jealous because one boy (who had a girlfriend) was talking with me and serenading me, and just being him. I look at him as a brother, nothing else, I laughed when he did something stupid and he got even more jealous... FUCK!
I told 2 guys who I trust that I would break up with him, they told me ways, then I saw that he was flirting with a girl, let's call her Buckegshnagen, I don't know how she does that, but ok...
So after I got angry, sad, and angry again, I got courage and told him "We need to talk", by his face he knew what was going to happen. I told him: "Look, I don't feel comfortable being with you and you know... It doesn't feel right..."
He just said: "Ok" and left. He didn't care. Luckily my friends andreagonz2001 and Wrxter_Advxnturer saw us and runned to me just when I was about to cry, 'He doesn't care!' I thought to myself, 'He doesn't even fucking care!', they got to me and I cried on Andrea's shoulder. I felt the need to get drunk, there was alcohol, but I promised a friend I wouldn't drink, so I got hyper with soda. I drank almost a liter, so I was running, jumping talking fast and everything... Then it wore off after I ate pizza.
Then there was the "Disco" where we were supposed to dance and everything, but I couldn't, I tried, but I was not in the mood... I was with Andrea and Bego, I was sad, we were all sad. I tried to doze it off by dancing, then I talked to a guy that was one of the ones I trust, and he told me: "Who would you kiss from the generation?" And I was like "maybe Lucas or you." He told me: "Do you want to?" And without thinking I said "Yes" We did, then a teacher, came and told us: I want you to stay in the light. And we left. It was a complete kiss, we didn't go all the way, or anything, we just kissed. I told my friend Andrea, she was not surprised. I'm depressed! That's all... Then we went with a guy that is about to get dumped by the girl he LOVES, just because she is leaving the school. If I had someone like him, I'd never let go, I swear! He composes music, he is good looking, he's a great person, but I just see him as a friend. We talked for a while, but I couldn't keep the dozing off and I cried, he just told me: "Don't cry, you're going to make me cry." But I couldn't help it, I was hurt because Person didn't care about me I HATE HIM!!
My friend and I cried together and hugged, but the feeling is still there. We talked and listened to music.
Now it's 2:18 am and I'm not even sleepy, I took a sleeping pill that Andrea gave me, but it's not working, I want to cry, but everyone is around me, so I'll try to sleep now thinking: 'He doesn't care!'
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I had to take this out, I think that I'm going to sleep, but first it will be HELL tossing and turning, but I don't care! I want to kill butterflies (cut myself), but I can't, no, I want to die, that's all.