Broken But Not Broken (COMPLETE)

Nothing

I'm nothing close to perfect, nothing close to being happy, nothing close to stop self-harming.

My friend Melanie knows about my self-harm, and whenever I tell her what I did the night before, se tells me not to do it, and we agreed to something, each time I self-harm, she will grab my wrist and squeeze it, so that I remember that it hurts after...to her it is a way of helping, and I let her do it, not because it helps, but because it takes emotional pain away, plus she thinks that she's helping.

I don't want anyone to suffer for me, I just want to simulate that I'm okay, so everyone is not preoccupied. Just one person knows when I lie about being fine...and that's Wrxter_Advxnturer, she is the only one that really knows...

Anyway, I'm scared of my scars to heal, because, as I said before, I feel that if they heal, I lose a part of myself.

I look at myself in the mirror and think "Ew, why would anyone notice you, look at you, you're so fat and ugly, why do you have hope on anything"

I want to skip every meal, but I'm not strong enough to do so, and if I do, my mom gets preocupied...so i have to eat, and I'm too lazy to excercise...so basically, I'm hopeless with that.

I...I just cause pain and let everyone down, I just want to be alone...just that.

Meh
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