F²F

off

ONIKA

'You are the love of my life,'

..

The tip of her finger traced my lips as she hummed against my neck, i smiled softly and run my fingers on through her curly tresses.

"Sleep beyoncé" i mumbled, she lifted her head staring at me with goofy smile. I held her as we both laid on my bed naked,

"I can't sleep"  she softly groaned, rubbing my ass to my waist her head Popped up so i can see her beautiful face. my eyebrow rose, i pulled her down. Pushing her on my breast, i giggled when she left kisses on my skin.

"Girl..go to sleep" i mumbled, she wrapped her arms tightly on my waist, pulling me closer.

"Come rub my scalp" i rolled my eyes but i still rub her head, rubbing and running my fingers on her curly messy hair.

"You're not sleepy?" I softly asked, her head shook making her soft curls moved and bounce from side to side

Her head raise up once again, her pout deepened like she was about to cry, i playfully rolled my eyes and pulled her for a kiss, our lips moved passionately, i pulled away just so softly bit her bottom lip. Sucking it and letting it go with a soft pop.

"I love you bey" i whispered and kissed her head, she look at me and smiled before she peck my lips.

"I love you onika."

I broke down falling on my knees, my hands shaking as i covered my face with both of my hands, i cried harder. I cried and blamed myself, i cried and hit myself.

"Oh god why am i so weak?" I whispered to my face, lips trembling. I tried to wipe my tears but they just kept falling,

It feels like grief. Feels like i lost someone but this time i actually did.

Slowly i lift my head, staring at my reflection on the full body mirror. I pack everything, every essential thing inside my home. And i only have on more day here.

I stared at myself, looking at my redded face, swollen eyes and trembling lips. I didn't wipe my tears this time and just let it fall.

I was supposed to be in my therapy 30 munutes ago—but im here, crying my eyes out because of something i wanted to forget.

"I fucking hate her—no..no i love her" i shake my head repeatedly, everything is so confusing. As my tears stopped falling, i heard my phone ring but i ignore it as i stood on my feet, i walk closer to my mirror. Looking at myself,

I look at myself with nothing but disgust.

I wanted to blame her, wanted to hurt her like how she hurt me. I wanted her to feel ever pain, every hurt, every embarrassment she caused me.

I wanted her to feel how i felt.

"You're stupid!" I yelled pointing at my reflection, "you're so fucking stupid!" I didn't know what i was thinking.
I closed my eyes as i heard a glass shattered, the pains too much that I didn't even feel the pain on my knuckles. I slowly opened my eyes, staring at my bloody hand.

Everything hurts and i started to cry again. My head pounding, my eyes burning and my knuckles are bleeding and then... everything pissed me off,

I snatched everything, throw everything that my hands touch. I punched everything i see. I screamed and cry,

My head turned when i heard my phone ring again. I made my way towards it, grabbing it from my bed.

"...hello?" I asked, holding my phone against my ear.