joelle | d.m

62 | late lunch

May, 1995.

Draco knew it was a long shot.

He knew it could very well go sideways really quickly, but he needed to do it.

His father would be coming to Hogwarts later in the evening to have a meeting with Dumbledore. Lucius often did this to check on the welfare school—to ensure his son was receiving the best and demanding that the best was being given. Just normal privileged people things.

In order for Draco to never have to tell Joey about the game, he needed to start with his father. He needed to tell his father about Joey.

Then, whether or not his father approved, the weight of holding that secret from him would be lifted.

That was when he would go on to tell Theodore and Blaise that it was no longer a game and he really loved Joey. Politely ask them if they could just forget about the entire game alone.

Again, whether or not they approved, the weight would be lifted. Draco and Joey would be happy and there would be no secrets. She would never know about the game, which meant she'd never feel the pain of the grisly truth.

He was just protecting her from his own stupid, arrogant actions. He didn't want to hurt her. Didn't want to see her hurt because of himself. So he was going to do his best to protect her from the truth.

Draco regretted the fact that he used to do this to other girls—seeing them as a challenge and a game. A source of entertainment for himself.

He often found himself thinking back to it when he gazed at Joey, who was oblivious of his staring because she was too consumed in her book or homework. Thought back to the times he used to just play with girls.

And each time, guilt tightened his lower stomach. He felt awful about what he'd done. His mother always taught him respect and manners and politeness and human decency. Yet, he had been using girls for his own enjoyment.

If Narcissa ever found out about what Draco had done, she'd blame herself. She'd wonder where she had gone wrong and she'd think so destructively about her parenting. The thought of it only burned Draco with more guilt. His mother was an amazing parent. She did everything right. It wasn't her fault.

Sometimes it's the people you hang around with. It's often said that your friends are a reflection of who you are.

Draco didn't want to be seen and known for such arrogant, selfish actions such as using girls for his own benefit. He hated his history with girls—everything he did to them. If he could take it all back, he would.

He'd known what he did was wrong early on when he and Joey started seeing each other. He knew it was wrong because he saw the vast difference in his behaviour around her compared with the girls from his past.

He treated Joey like a princess, whereas he treated those other girls like his own toys for pleasure. He wasn't mean to them or anything, but he still didn't treat them how he should have.

It was so wrong. So, so wrong, and he regretted it. He took full responsibility for his own actions, but he did learn from them. He was never, ever going to make the mistake of mistreating women again.

And if he was being honest, spending time with Joey and her friends helped him see a lot that he didn't see before. The way they acted and spoke was so different compared to his friends. So respectful, mannered, and polite.

Theodore and Blaise were anything but that.

Sure, they were in their own situationships with their own girls, but Draco didn't see any development in the way his friends acted. Still entitled, arrogant, selfish, snarky.