Interviewing Garreg Mach (Fire Emblem: Three Houses one shots)

Help me help you (Ashe Ubert X Reader)

Oh wow. It's been a year. A whole year with no updates. I am very sorry. 

If you've been reading my newer stuff, I've been going through it. Now more than ever. 

Just the way I keep getting left behind when I show any signs of struggle. 

But who cares, right? 

I just need to write some self indulgent fluff, I promise this won't be a reoccurring thing. Sorry. 

General chapter warnings: A bit of swearing, angst, fluff. 

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There was something oddly calming about the monastery at night. 

The footsteps of patrolling guards could be heard echoing throughout the spacious halls, night bugs like crickets and cicadas choosing to make themselves known in places where they hoped no one could see them.

The gentle lights of the torches hung like sconces in the halls gave a soft glow to the walls, allowing for a decent line of sight if you needed to get anywhere this late. 

Even the rubble from the war that started five years ago had a weird at home feel. Almost as though there was never a time when the monastery was whole. 

And yet you were unsettled. 

Seated atop a pile of dirt, you couldn't help but wonder why. Why everything had to happen the way it did. 

You were a few moons into the war now. Finding prince- no, you now supposed, King Dimitri alive and not quite well was the first of many surprises once you returned for your class reunion. 

You stared at the gaping hole that once was the roof of the cathedral. That's right, the cathedral where you and Caspar would have choir practice and he would belt his lungs out... In the wrong key, of course. The cathedral where you kept finding lost items belonging to Ignatz, Mercedes, or Marianne who would thank you profusely upon return. The cathedral where you'd help the professor pull problems out of a box to assist with. 

The cathedral with the two big doors at the back which led to this war in the first place. 

 Now, the cathedral where the Boar Prince makes his home, bides his time... 

When you first laid eyes on him, you shuddered. Gone was the awkward, lanky young man who would trip over himself if he even thought incorrectly. In his place was revenge incarnate, a lust for blood so strong even Nemesis would be in awe. In truth, you feared for your life. 

Another thing that shocked you is how much you missed life. Any signs of it now were your old classmates headed to the dining hall, soldiers your professor had recruited patrolling the area, merchants hoping to sell their wares for anything the people could afford. 

You missed fishing with Flayn. Running and hiding from social situations with Bernadetta. Bringing supplies to the people of Abyss with Catherine, Shamir, Alois and Raphael. Tea time with Hapi or Constance. Singing with Dorothea and Manuela. Speculating about crests and the necessity of them with Hanneman, Lysithea, Edelgard and Hubert. Pulling pranks with Claude and Hilda who would always claim deniability with a small smile. Weeding and gardening with Dedue and Dimitri. 

You missed having friends. 

Rhea was gone. But... You didn't much care when you reflected on it. Gone or taken away, you found it didn't matter. 

Late night speculations with Claude led you to believe there was something amiss about her. It started when "Teach", as your yellow clad friend lovingly refers to them, was transported to some otherworldly realm and returned with light green hair and piercing green eyes. Not that their eyes weren't piercing before, the two of you noted. But it was odd they had suddenly taken a likeness to the head of the church. Just what was that about?

Alas, you no longer had someone to have those kinds of mind bending discussions with. Most of your classmates had a close connection to the church and religion or did not care in any way. 

You felt it would be a lacking topic anyway. 

Your pile of rubble you were using as a makeshift chair started to crumble and fall apart just a little. You watched as the little pieces of dirt and runaway concrete (you assumed) rolled to the floor in tiny crumbs. It almost felt significant, in a way, how what once was a strong support can fall to pieces if enough weight was placed on it.

A tear rolled down your cheek before you realized you were tearing up. 

The act of the stone crumbling felt significant because it was. It felt like you. You were holding all this weight, the loss of your friends on the battlefield though Dimitri absconded you for being the slightest bit upset, the fear of the unknown, the fear for your classmates safety, for your own safety. It all came crashing down. 

You missed the peace that the monastery brought before the war. You missed the guaranteed comfort of warm meals at meal time every day. You missed knowing that there will always be a gentle pair of arms to run into whenever you felt like this. 

You felt gross. You felt selfish and awful for feeling like that. 

Until a pair of arms wraps around your shoulders and squeezes tight enough for you to register their presence. 

There was only one person who you would allow to hold you without announcing his presence beforehand. 

You leaned back into Ashe's embrace, feeling his chin rest on the top of your head. He gently rocked you both side to side. You didn't realize he was also silently crying, feeling the same kind of weight you were. 

Ashe leaned down to mutter into your hair. 

"You're not alone, not now, not ever. Never forget that, okay?" His voice shook as he spoke but you could tell that he meant every word. The tears fell faster from your eyes, this time out of gratitude. You moved to grab your arms with your hands and gave a light squeeze, hoping to convey your message of happiness and thankfulness. He did. He chuckled slightly into your hair and closed his eyes. 

The two of you stayed that way, silent, until you went back to your room together, still wrapped in each others arms. You would fight the sun if you had to to have more peaceful nights like these. 

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To whoever's reading this. You're not alone. It's okay to be lonely. You'll never be fully alone. Someone, somewhere, is thinking of you and keeping you in their heart. 

Stay strong. I am proud of you.