Consequence of Oversight

Daddy

◃◬▹

TWO YEARS LATER

◃◬▹

"Why don't you just give in child?"

"Resisting will only prolong the inevitable..."

"Darkness always wins in the end..."

"GIVE IN!"

Hazel gasped awake. "That's the fourth time this week." She grumbled. She was honestly surprised that her master has not picked up on her late-night panic episodes that had been an ongoing occurrence since her strange vision years ago. 

She did notice how much closer he was trying to get to her though. He would constantly encourage her that he was 'there for her' or that he 'would always be willing to listen.'

Hazel wasn't stupid. She knew what was happening to her. She was just having a hard time accepting that the darkside was calling to her. And that the call had been plaguing her sleep for months.

She sighed, reluctantly throwing off her covers. "Today's a new day Hazel," she muttered, "you're still alive. You can't give up yet." 

She sluggishly moved about until she was ready for the day. These disruptions of her sleep were really collecting their toll on her daily life, she realized. She had less energy, she was nearly always distracted, she lost interest in learning, and she was rarely genuinely happy. She was slowly losing her will to live.

What was worse was the fact that the darkside knew this. As if it were an entity messing with her poor twelve-year-old mind. Throwing invasive thoughts into her head. Reminding her she was alone. That no one was struggling like she was. Yelling at her, "no one will ever understand you," or whispering, "It would be so much easier to let go! To not feel. To be numb." 

It was a battle for her mind every day for the past two years. She was surprised she had lasted that long.

If she was honest, she was still strong because of her master. It was always at times like these, when her mind was in pieces, that he would swoop in and tell her exactly what she needed to hear. As she made herself tea, watching the rising suns, she thought back to the time when Master Kenobi had unintentionally saved her life.

◃◬▹

Hazel had been meditating for what had felt like an eternity. Of course, right as she had thought that meditating might help with the 'dark' episodes, the darkness just had to haunt her meditation too. Evil and invasive thoughts fought for dominion in her mind.

"You'll be okay," she had coached herself, "don't give in, don't give in, don't give in!"

She had pleaded with the Force to help her. To give her just a moment of peace. She had been so exhausted that day, that she remembered she had just wanted to end her suffering.

"The Jedi are gone." the darkness had reasoned. "You are training for nothing. You hide to prolong the inevitable. No one would miss you if you were gone. No one would notice. After all, you have no family. But you could have one if you just joined us..."

"No." she had whispered.

"You're empty inside. Why not fill yourself with something that will last? Something that will make sure that you are remembered. That you are known. It would be better than wasting away. No one loves you, so what do you have to lo-"

"Hazel!" Her master had shouted. She gasped and her teary eyes had met her master's. "Hazel? Are you alright?" 

She remembered breaking down and being carried inside by her master. 

She remembered the painful sobs that had racked her body as she cried in her master's arms. 

She remembered the sweet words that he had whispered in her ear that saved her.

"It's ok, darling. You're ok. You are safe. You are loved. I love you, Hazel. You are an amazing young girl, and you work so hard. I am so proud of you."

Those words made her suffering worth living through. He made the pain worth surviving.

That day Hazel had confessed about her strange and horrifying visions, thoughts, and dreams. Obi-wan had explained that what she was experiencing was the darkside calling out to her. She had decided then that she would never join something that made someone experience the emotions she had experienced. 

That was almost fifteen months ago.

Now, as she sat outside watching the suns rise, she realized that she wasn't alone. Obi-wan was there. He understood her pain. He listened to her cries and comforted her when she needed it. Was that what having a father was like? She wondered if it was.

As she thought about it more, she realized that she loved her master as well. She had started to view him as a father figure that day when she thought she should have ended it. And she was so grateful in that moment to him.

Suddenly, a strong arm wrapped around her shoulder. "Trouble sleeping?" he guessed. Hazel nodded. 

"It happened again." she sighed. Obi-wan nodded his head as he thought of a response. 

"Master, I feel like I'm weak for feeling like I should quit." she whispered. He turned to look at her with a soft expression. 

"Hazel, look at me." She turned to him.

"You are not weak. You are strong. You have resisted against the darkside for such a long time. You have stayed consistent in your learning, and you have retained your will to live! You are so so strong in doing so, young one. Never forget how strong you are." He pulled her into his arms as she silently cried.

He truly loved her as his own. He loved her so much that it hurt to see her suffer so much. He wished with all his heart that he could carry her burdens and take her pain. But he couldn't. So, he did all he could to comfort her. As he sent calming feelings through, he heard her mumble some things he couldn't quite make out. But clear as day, she softly spoke words that would steal sleep from his nights and steal his heart. 

"Thank you, daddy."

◃◬▹

A/N: Phew, that was deep. If you struggle with any of the thoughts mentioned (bc I know that they are real and present for most people) please know that you are not alone and that it's ok to not be okay sometimes. You are worth living for and there are people who love you! 

On a less sad note: SHE FINALLY CALLED HIM DAD!! I've been waiting so long to do that lol. Thank you for reading this far and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Stay safe and may the Force be with you!

Becka -