Sacrifice (Hyunlix)

chapter 15

Hyunjin pov

I felt hot breath hitting the back of my neck and strong arms holding my waist from behind. I don't even need to turn around, I know this is felix who is currently giving a death grip to me.

I laid there lazily in his arms, even though I know we should wake up and get to work. I felt felix subconsciously snuggle on my back while pulling me closer. He caressed the sides of my waist while he was still asleep, just like a cat would do with its paws.

It took ten minutes for me to realise that I'm smiling widely right now. I mean who wouldn't smile when you find felix acting like an adorable kitten first thing in the morning??

We didn't get to do our daily routine last night, that is because felix was late. He went out to take that call and he was actually really late. When he said he'll be late and told me to sleep, but I didn't think it would actually be that late... It was past midnight when he got back to our room.

He didn't know I was awake when he got back, he thought I was sleeping. Well technically he did say that I should sleep but the bed was too cold to sleep. This is freaking summer and god knows how the fuck I felt cold last night.

I waited and waited until I felt felix slumping behind me. I was about to turn around and give him a good scolding for being so late, for making me wait for so long, for leaving me alone for this long. But before I could turn around he wrapped his around my waist and buried his face on my back.

Then I heard low sobs which was almost inaudible if we weren't so close. Felix cried. I felt my shirt getting wet with his silent cry.

I wanted to turn around and hug him in my arms, whisper sweet nothing's to him and do anything that could make him feel better. I wanted to ask him what is happened, who is hurting him, and hundreds of questions raised in my mind just so I could help him.

But something told me that he isn't ready for that. At least not right now.

And I was scared that he might not want to tell me. Because I, myself kept secrets from him.

I felt so bad when that when he made so much efforts to make me feel better without even knowing the reason. I didn't even tell him about my parents.

Why would he open up to me when I never did? It pained me that all I did was clench my hands tightly while he sobbed.

I badly wanted know what was the reason behind this. We were just playing around before that one call, he was smiling like always did but then suddenly he came back crying? This escalated too quick.

All I wished was his smile to return. I felt this unknown feeling inside me like I wanted to destroy whoever made my sunshine cry.

Who the fuck made my sunshine cry? Why? Do they know how he makes me smile every single day?

I wished I could tell them they're not hurting just one person. If you hurt felix, your hurting two people. Because hearing felix cry, seeing a not-smiling-but-crying-felix is end of the world for me.

Am I exaggerating? Maybe, it might seem that way for others. But I don't give a single fuck, my sunshine cried. And I was helpless.

When I was feeling down because of yeji's incident, felix helped me without even asking my reason. He was so good at making me feel happy, he gave me space and did not force me to explain myself for my weird ass behaviour.

So I should do the same, I should wait until he opens up to me. I will wait.

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I fucking can't wait even for a day. I already messed up. So Fuck it, I'm not felix. I can never be as pateint as him. I wish I could slam myself onto a rock and die.