Sacrifice (Hyunlix)

chapter 21

Hyunjin pov

"Are you even hearing to yourself hyunjin?" Felix uttered with utmost disbelief in his tone. I can't tell if his expression is hurt or disappointing or...hate.

"I said-"

"SHUT UP" Felix yelled while closing his ears like he didn't want to hear a single word from me. I've never seen that furious expression on his face, I only knew the sunshine..

"Please, just tell me you didn't mean it and I'll forget you ever said that-" felix was hurt. But my stupid self can't get that.

"I meant it felix" I breathed out, he paused his ramblings and started saying no as if he's mumbling to himself.

"No, you didn't. I don't believe it. I don't want to believe this- " I should've stopped here, I should've agreed with whatever felix was saying. But I didn't. I fucking don't know anymore.

"Felix stop, I just wanted to be sure. After hearing that.... anyone would have doubts. Stop acting like I'm blaming you or something I was just asking you" I paused for a moment and glanced at his eyes, his doe eyes never looked this hurt. His gaze was always so gentle and sweet but right he looks like he just lost all the hope.

"Do you want Minho's help for whatever the reason your mom was in hospital? Is that why you agreed to help me? Is this the reason you........cared about me?" I repeated the same questions again. I feel like an asshole. If I was in felix place and he didn't trust me then I don't know if I could ever get over that.

"Do you really believe that I would-" felix started with a weak voice but I cut them off.

"It doesn't matter what I believe. I just want the truth. Minho always had people like this, he was abandoned for years by your mom and he went through hell all these years. Simple calls doesn't make up for her absence.  I should've known, she ran away from him but now, you're coming back to him just cuz you want his help?? What happened to all those years then??"

"You don't know shit about my mom. Don't run your mouth like you know everything! Do you even know how hard it was for her ?? Unfortunately we aren't rich like you or Minho hyung. She worked her ass off everyday, since childhood..I never even got to spend normal time with her. She worked day and night!!"  If felix wasn't angry before, he is angry right now. The voice that once felt warm and gentle is now replaced by venom and pain.

"You're complaining about not spending time with your mom while Minho literally-" got fucking beaten up into plump all the time. Got insulted every single day by his own dad. Got forced to give up his dream. And many more that I can't even count!

"While Minho what?? Got too much much money in his hands?" Felix chuckled dryly like he just can't believe what he is hearing from me.

"He choose to be with that man. He chose a comfortable life where he didn't need to worry about money or anything. Stop trying to throw the guilt on mom! He was the one who wanted that fucking life, yeah he might not have it easy but for fuck's we weren't happy either!" Felix spat without holding back, he didn't try to be nice about it.

"You shouldn't have acted like you cared about..." Me... "Minho, asking if he's really happy or shit like that. I'm not the person to feel sorry and stuff. You had it hard too, okay. I get that, but that doesn't justify your actions. You could've directly said it to Minho in the first place, he definitely would've paid whatever that was needed. There's no need to go and act like you actually cared" The fact that felix had an alternative motive for helping me out or getting close to me is angonizing enough.

"Is that what you think of me?? THAT I FUCKING NEVER CARED? THAT THIS WAS ALL AN ACT?? HAH! THIS IS HILARIOUS,  OF COURSE YOU DON'T FEEL SORRY AND STUFF! IF YOU HAD ANY SUCH TYPE OF EMOTION YOU WOULDN'T BE ASKING THESE FUCKED UP QUESTIONS!" I flinched when felix started yelling at me. Everyone around us looked at us, some were annoyed and some started gossiping.