Beyond Boundaries (Mommy's Angel)

Ten

I sigh one more time as the afternoon's sun stream through the windows, casting a warm glow on the living room. I've been wandering around the house  for a while now, feeling a sense of restlessness and boredom. I look at the clock, waiting for Leah to come back from work.
Fuck, I'm so bored
I was left to my own devices, trying to pass the time until she came home. And I've already done everything I could possibly do alone. I didn't want to go out and I still don't want to, I didn't asked her anyway so. The house feels so empty without her presence, I've never noticed how lonely it was.

-Ugh

I groan again as I glance  at the clock for what feels like the hundredth time.
5:30 PM.
Okay, soon. She'll  be home soon. I think about tidying up the place, to make the time go by faster, but quickly forget the idea, too lazy to do that. So I simply fluff  the pillows on the couch, and straightened the books on the coffee table. Still, the minutes seem to crawl.
5:40 PM
To distract myself, I start preparing dinner. I usually cook with Leah because I'm not really good at it and she's a great teacher, but I could surprise her with a homemade meal this time.  I pull out ingredients for one of her favorite dishes and carefully start chopping and seasoning.

Just as I was putting the chicken in the oven, I hear the sound of keys jingling at the door. My heart leaping in my stomach, and I run to the living room to greet Leah, literally jumping in her arms as she steps inside. She laughs and drop her purse on the floor to catch me, looking tired but smiling warmly when she hugs me.

-Hey, angel... She kisses my lips before putting me back on my feet. Something smells amazing, you're not cooking, are you?
-Well, why not?  I thought I'd get dinner started.
I savor the feel of her arms around me for a few more seconds before pulling back. She takes back her purse and walk me to the kitchen to wash her hands.
-So, how was your day?
Leah sigh and run a hand through her hair, making her look super hot but also exhausted. She removes her glasses and sit on the long chair.
-Long. Way too long. I had a couple of meetings ran over, I spent at least three hours in the court today and there's a new project that's going to be a lot of work.
She sigh again and holds out her arms to hug me.
-But I'm happy to be home now.

She washes her hands one more time and joins me in preparing the rest of the meal. We work in comfortable and comforting silence, occasionally exchanging small talk and smiles. Everything feels so much better now that she's back. I sigh of pleasure when she hugs me from the back and rest my head on her shoulder.

After dinner, I cleared the table and decided that we should watch a movie, a comedy, to wipe off her long busy day as well as my long boring day.  As we settled on the couch, Leah leans back against the cushions and I snuggle up beside her, my head resting on her shoulder.

I notice, only halfway through the movie, that Leah seems distracted, like she keeps glancing and checking at her phone, frowning at the screen. I just tried to ignore it, at firs, but eventually, it just started to bother me for whatever reason.
-Is everything okay Leah?
I try to keep my tone light when I ask her, not wanting to upset her or anything, I know she's already irritated by the way her arm is wrapped around me.
She simply sighs, her eyes still on her phone, but doesn't answer.

-Leah?
-Everything is fine babygirl. Let's just enjoy the movie. 
I nod, still suspicious but lay back down on her shoulder. Few minutes after, she hasn't even looked up yet, it's like she's arguing with someone.
-What's going on Mommy?
She looks up at me and sighs, running her fingers in her hair.
-It's just...work stuff, I'm sorry baby.
I can't help but feel a twinge of irritation in me.
She's still working?
I know she has to, but right now?

-You've been working all day. Can't it wait until tomorrow?
Leah finally puts her phone down and looks at me for a few seconds, probably thinking about what she could possibly respond to that. And easily, the perfect response is "Yes, you're right". That's what she should say.
-I know, baby. But this project is really important, and there's a lot riding on it. I can't just ignore it all night.
-I get that, but you're home now. We barely get time together as it is, and when we do, you're still thinking about work.

Her expression slowly hardens, sending a wave of signals to my brain, screaming me to stop right now, but I just can't. It's like 8/10 times we get to be together, she's either thinking about work or literally working unless I throw a tantrum.
-It's not like I want to be preoccupied with work Amaya. But this is important, and I need to stay on top of it.
-But it's always important! If it's not an important case, it's an important project. It's always the same!

She raises an eyebrow, silently telling me that she doesn't like my tone, but doesn't say anything, probably thinking that it's another tantrum.
-I know you're not picking up a fight right now Amaya.
The tension I can literally feel between us slightly makes my skin shiver, but I decide to ignore it and fix my position on the couch to look at her.
-I know your job is important and everything, but so is our relationship. Sometimes it just feels like I'm competing with your work for your attention.

She sighs again, and sternly looks at me. I can feel her body tensing up from where I am, as well as the atmosphere around us.
-Amaya, that's not fair.  You know how I care about you. But I also have responsibilities that I can't just ignore.

I suddenly stand up, feeling a surge of anger and try to say something, but Leah doesn't let me do and brutally sit me right back on the couch, her hand pulling me down by my shoulder.
-Don't stand up at me, are you insane? Are you testing me right now?
Her grip on my shoulder tighten up as she talks, hurting me a little, but I decide to ignore that and follow up on what I was saying.
-I'm not asking you to ignore your responsibilities. I'm asking you to find a balance. It's like I'm always waiting for you to have time for me."
-And what am I supposed to do Amaya? Quit my job? We both know that's not realistic. I'm already doing my best here!

I take a deep breath, and try to calm down, realizing that she's right. She always tries her best, going on vacation with me, taking a day off when I ask or when I'm sick...
-I'm not asking you to quit. I'm just...asking you to make an effort. To show me that I'm just as important as your job.
-Amaya, please.
-I just need to feel like I'm a priority too!
-Because you don't feel that? I'm not prioritizing you enough? Oh my god, why can't you see things?

I don't answer anything, too embarrassed and scared when I see a flash of frustration and anger in her eyes.
So we just sit there in silence, looking at each other like two idiots, and the movie still playing in the background. The tension in the room is now palpable, and I can feel tears stinging my eyes. As always.

Leah finally sigh and come closer to me, her expression softening.
-I'm sorry. Baby, I'm sorry. Okay?
She wipe down my tears and cups my head in her hands, kissing my forehead.
-I didn't realize how much it was affecting you. I don't want you to feel like you're not important to me.
I nod as I look up at her, feeling a mix of relief and lingering frustration.
-I will make it work, okay? I'll try to find a balance where we both feel valued. I'll try to be more present when I'm home. We'll figure this out together. Alright?

I nod again, feeling the tension start to ease.
-I was unfair, I'm sorry...
-It's okay love, everything will be just fine.
She pulls me into a hug and caresses my hair, instantly relaxing me.
-I love you Mommy, I'm sorry
She rest back on the couch and let me lay on her as we keep watching the movie like nothing happened, but the little argument still lingering in the air.
I kept apologizing for at least 30 minutes, feeling guilty about ignoring her efforts, but Leah just held me close, and stroked my hair to make me feel better.

God, I love her...
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I hope you liked it
Take care and be careful.

XOXO_