who's afraid of little old me? | mha x oc

chapter eighteen

The first test consisted of a fifty yard dash.

I ended up being paired with Shoto. I guessed Aizawa had a sense of humor.

"Alright, Todorokis, let's see what you've got," Aizawa-sensei said, his voice monotone but his eyes sharp. He watched us with an intensity that made my skin prickle. I wasn't going to embarrass myself.

Shoto So, I channeled every feeling of anger or annoyance I had felt in the past few weeks. I thought back to when Enji had told me I wasn't ever going to be as good as my brother.

Something felt off.

I felt nothing.

"Ready, set, go!" I was caught off guard.

The ground beneath my feet blurred as I propelled myself forward with fire. It was the intense flames that I needed. I should be able to win this easily. Shoto's ice didn't have the explosiveness that my fire had. I could see Shoto beside me, using his ice to push himself. He was too close.

I pushed harder, the flames intensifying around me. The finish line was in sight, and I gave it everything I had. I was ahead. Everything ached, and I could feel a headache coming.

Until.

"You aren't going to be a hero, you don't have it in you," Shoto sneered. The same words that had once brought the devastation of my flames.

I tried to remind myself that it wasn't real. I had been doing so well. Those visions had stopped haunting me years ago, and I was finally starting to feel normal again.

Those words had once caused me to feel so much. It had been a trigger for so long, and I had put so much effort into conquering that once broken part of me. Instead of triggering a flood of emotions now, it triggered a numbness.

My flames faltered for a second, but that was all that was needed. Shoto surged ahead of me, beating me.

This time, it wasn't my imagination whenever he turned towards me, speaking low enough so that only I could hear. "I'm going to make sure you don't become a hero."

He then turned and walked away, leaving me to sit there.

It was as if everything in the past few weeks had meant nothing. Why had I even wanted to become a hero? I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.

"That was awesome Himari!" Mina said as I came over, "I know you lost, but it was so close!"

I tried to give her a smile, but I don't think it came out right because of the way her smile also faltered. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said, but she didn't look convinced.

But despite the camaraderie, a part of me still felt distant, like I was watching everything from behind a foggy glass. Last time I was with Mina, I had felt like I was a part of something.

I could never focus for the rest of the tests after that moment.

I knew it was because my flames were powered by emotions. I needed to get myself back into the right mindset, yet it just wouldn't come.

I did average in each event, and soon my goals of beating Bakugo and Shoto were lost as they continued to place high. I had tried my best, but my flames were weak. I couldn't even get them to burn darker than an orange.

I wasn't the only student struggling with mental blocks. I had my quirk to help me, which helped me secure a spot in the top ten, but poor Midoriya was having trouble simply getting his quirk to work.

It finally came down to the ball throw test.

a/n: I know it's technically not the last test, but for plots sake it is ok?

I was stressed by now, thinking of all of the possible causes for my freak out.

Had I become broken again?

Last visit, Akina had given me some medicine to help me focus my emotions more. She had told me it was rare and hard to get, but it should've helped me to wield my fire, yet everything felt like it was going wrong.

I felt like something was wrong with me. Was I in my own head?

I watched as everyone went, pushing themselves harder. One girl even got infinity.

It was finally Midoriya's turn. He looked nervous.

Taking a deep breath, he prepared to throw the ball putting all his strength into and..."Forty six meters."

I felt bad, but at this point it was either me or him. Midoriya looked over at Mr. Aizawa in shock, who was, it turns out using his quirk. It was some kind of disabling quirk. His red eyes were terrifying to look at. I quickly looked away.

That sucked for Midoriya. He went over to speak to Aizawa, and they spoke in hushed voices. The rest of us strained to hear what he was saying, but we didn't get anything out of it.

Whatever their talk was, it seemed intense."

He probably told him to stop packing," Bakugo said spitefully.

I would've told him to shut up, but I just wasn't in the mood to deal with him. 

Finally, Midoriya stepped away from Aizawa.

He had a renewed look of determination on his face.

I always felt like the underdogs ended up surprising us in the end.

After standing there for a moment and collecting his thoughts, he threw the ball, yelling something I couldn't quite make out as he did it.

"Seven hundred and five feet." The exact same score as Bakugo.

Now it was my turn. I had to do good. If Midoriya had done it, I could do it.

I took a deep breath, summoning my fire, yet it still had that empty feeling to it.

I willed it to burn hotter, pushing as I forced myself to my limits. I was not getting kicked out of this class over a mental block. I was tired, and everything was starting to hurt, but slowly the fire grew hotter.

I threw the ball, and it went far. It soared through the air, and the watch beeped.

"Eight Hundred and ten feet."

Take that Bakugo.

"You can put out your flame now," I heard Aizawa say.

However, something was wrong. The fire wasn't controlled. No. No. No.

No.

No.

No.

It couldn't happen again.

It was as if I was back in that grocery store, feeling scared and crying.

The fire was growing, becoming more unpredictable.

Why wasn't Aizawa stopping it?

I turned towards him, a panicked look on my face. He had stopped Bakugo's quirk. He should be able to stop mine too.

I could feel all of the power being drained out of my body, unable to stop.

It took everything in me to keep it from spreading, instead focusing on aiming the fire at the sky where it couldn't hurt anyone. I was on my own, and Aizawa wasn't going to help me.

However, my control was slipping. I lost my grip on that one thread of control I had.

Everything erupted into flames, exploding out in all directions.

Then everything went black.