PUNARVIVAAH - ARRANGED TO LOVE (L&M #3) [COMPLETED]

SHOT 44

Abhay's pov!

I stood under the shower, letting the cold water trickle down my body, numbing my senses. My mind was a storm of emotions, guilt being the most overpowering one. All I could think about was Kiara, whose memory haunted me relentlessly.

Kiara's accusing eyes flashed before me, sharp and unforgiving. It was as if she was right there, staring at me with a mix of hurt and anger. The sound of the water was drowned out by the echo of her voice in my head.

'Great, Abhay! You killed me, you separated me from my baby, you ruined my life, and now you are living a happy life.' Her words, though imagined, pierced through me like a thousand knives. I know I was imagining those words, but it didn't make the words any less effective.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, mingling with the cold water. I pressed my hands against the tiled wall, my body trembling. The guilt was a relentless, suffocating presence.

"Kiara, I am so sorry," I whispered, my voice breaking. "I never wanted any of this to happen. I didn't mean any of it to happen."

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to block out the painful memories, but they came rushing back with a vengeance. I remembered the day I lost Kiara, the moment that had changed everything. It played in my mind like a cruel, endless loop.

I had burst out after bottling up all my anger, hurt and frustration. And I was careless enough to ignore her calls, knowing clearly that she was eight months pregnant.

I should have been more careful, more attentive.

Every night since then, I had been haunted by the what-ifs and the could-have-beens. What if I had remained calm that day like always? What if I hadn't turned the phone into silent mode? What if I had attended any of those calls.?

I could almost hear her laughter, just as quickly, the laughter would turn into angry screams. The guilt was unbearable, a heavy weight that I carried with me every single day.

And now, I have married Vaiga. Not out of love, but out of duty. For my parents, who had stood by me during all my downfalls, and for my daughter, Kriti, who needed a mother's love. Vaiga was a good woman, kind and nurturing. She had already formed a bond with Kriti, and for that, I was grateful. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I was betraying Kiara's memory. Giving Kiara's place to someone else.

I slammed my fist against the wall, frustration bubbling up within me.

"Kiara, what do I do?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "I am trying to do the right thing, but it feels so wrong. I can't even look at Vaiga without feeling like I am cheating on you. But I have to think about Kriti. She needs a mother, and Vaiga loves her. I can't take that away from her."

The cold water did nothing to soothe the burning guilt inside me. I felt trapped in a prison of my own making, unable to move forward, yet unable to stay in the past. I had made a vow to Vaiga today, but my heart wasn't in this. It was as if I was living two lives, neither of which felt completely real.

"I am sorry, Kiara," I repeated, the words a broken mantra. "I am so, so sorry." I leaned my forehead against the wall, the water cascading over me, and let out a shuddering breath.

The image of Kiara's face slowly faded, replaced by Vaiga's. Her eyes, filled with uncertainty and pain, mirrored my own inner turmoil.

I knew that Vaiga had her own share of heartache, that this marriage was as much a burden for her as it was for me. But she had agreed to it, for the sake of Kriti, for the sake of family. I wondered if she was as conflicted as I was, if she lay awake at night, haunted by ghosts of the past.