Mine (Part III) - Nolou/Uglydolls Fanfic

21 ~ Communicate

(Lou's POV)

Nolan: "It hurts a lot.."

He covered his face and turned away from me. I think I said a curse word under my breath.

"I'm gonna take it out, okay? Then I'll check you."

Nolan: "Okay.."

I stepped back away from him so that we were no longer connected. He sat up and held his thigh while he continued to sob under his breath.

I put on my underwear and pants quickly and gave myself a moment to think. I was scared to look. What if I really hurt him? I was caught up in the rush. In the pleasure... but how could I not notice him in pain?

"Here. Lay back down. I'm gonna look."

He laid down again on his back like I asked.

I took a deep breath and crouched down. But I didn't have to look closely to notice the blood stains on the bed.

My stomach dropped and I began to feel angry at myself.

"Damn it!"

Nolan flinched and sat back up again.

"Why-? Why didn't you tell me!?"

Nolan: "I'm sorry.."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were still hurting?!"

Nolan: "I don't know.."

"Well, now you're bleeding!"

He watched as I hurried out to the bathroom to find something to help. I heard him crying in the distance and told myself to calm down. I took a few deep breaths and grabbed the package of wipes that was near the sink. I came back to the room with a garbage bin as well.

Nolan: "I can do it.."

"Just let me do it!"

He leaned away from me. His body was partly covered by the blanket. I sighed and give him a nearby t-shirt. He put it on and looked at me, helpless.

"Let me do it. Please."
I said softly.

The last thing I wanted was for him to be afraid of me. But this was my worst fear coming true. I'd never want to hurt Nolan. Especially in this way. Thankfully, he trusted me to clean him up. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I'm upset right now. I'm scared."

I looked back at the blood stains on the blanket. Stains always bothered me. But blood stains were the worst. Especially now that it was Nolan's. And it was because of me.

I heard the bed creak and watched as he crawled off slowly. He gave me the guiltiest look and gripped into his shirt nervously. One last tear streamed down his face. I put everything on the bed and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back and I suddenly wanted to cry too.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Nolan. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry."

We hugged for a couple minutes before he let me check him again. The bleeding was minimal, thankfully so I put some antiseptic to avoid infection. That kind of thing hadn't happened to us before. It made my heart pound and I was really scared that I had hurt him not just physically, but mentally too.

He sat on the bed just wearing his t-shirt, which was long enough to cover down to his thighs. I returned everything to the bathroom and came back with a cup of water for him. The clock said it was midnight.

"Here, drink some water."

He sipped from the cup while I sat on the edge of the bed. The room fell silent. I sighed and looked down at the floor while he put the cup back on the nightstand.

Nolan: "I'm sorry, Lou..."

I looked back up at him.

Nolan: "I thought I could handle it.. I just.. didn't want to bother you."

I stopped myself from saying something snarky and I reminded myself to be understanding. He was once in a relationship where his opinion didn't matter. Where it didn't matter how he was feeling. I thought maybe he'd be over that by now. But then again, I wouldn't know what that kind of trauma was like.

I looked back at him.

"I need you to tell me these things. You need to let me know if you're hurting. Especially if it's because of me. It doesn't matter what we're doing. Say something. You understand?"

He nodded and brought his knees to his chest like he was cold. I gave him his underwear and he put them on.

Nolan: "I told you I'm broken..."

"You're not broken. Stop saying that. Just talk to me, okay? Say 'Lou, that hurts, stop it.' or 'Lou, don't say that, it hurts my feelings.' That's all I want. I would rather you tell me so that I know. And if I ever ignore you or something just smack me! I don't care."

He looked around the room, not sure if I was serious or not. But I was.
I moved closer to him.

"I can't read your mind. I wish I could, but I can't. I can't know what you're thinking if you don't tell me. Understand?"

I put my hand on top of his. He nodded sadly. And suddenly, he crawled into my arms and practically curled into a ball. I sighed and fixed his hair.

"I love you so much. I can't handle the thought of me hurting you. I don't want to do that."

Nolan: "I'm sorry.."

"Let's communicate better, okay?"

Nolan: "Okay..."

"I hope you're not hurt too bad.."

I sighed and looked up at the clock again. I picked him up and layed him properly on the pillows. He watched me with submissive eyes as I covered him with the blanket.

Nolan: "Please don't leave. Stay with me. Please?"

"Are you sure?"

He nodded and moved over so I would have room to lay down. I didn't deserve to lay with him.
But those eyes.
Those damn eyes.

He smiled as I got into the bed and lay next to him. He put blanket on me too and cuddled into my chest.
I held him close and closed my eyes after placing a kiss on his forehead.

Nolan: "I havent been with anyone for a while. I think that's why it hurt..."

"How long is a while?"

Nolan: "...7 years."

He looked up at me for a second and then leaned into my bare chest again.

"That'll do it."

His body wasn't used to it anymore. I should've thought of that. But stupid me wasn't thinking. I was too excited. Too absorbed in the physical aspect of our intimacy. Well, I'd know better next time. That was for sure.

The smaller brunette hugged me and scooched closer to me. His legs became intertwined with mine and we closed our eyes, exhausted from the drama that had happened. His body against my bare chest made me feel warm again. I held him close and rubbed his back gently.

 I could only hope that he would feel better by morning.