A Little Drunk On You.

Chapter 20: Living On The Inside

ALRIGHT GUYS HERE IT IS THE FINAL CHAPTER IM CRYING JUST WRITING THIS UGH HERE YOU ARE, I HOPE YOU ENJOY!

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Day 99:

One more day left in this hell hole, then I'm free. I just want to go home lay in your bed smell your scent. I haven't taken off your necklace since I put it on. It will never come off.

I'm looking around this empty room right now, just numb. I can't feel anything anymore. Ever since I saw you dead in front of me.

I remember me and your mother crying together for hours on end. I remember laying in your bed for days not eating, only crying.

I remember going through the pictures of us on my phone crying harder, seeing how happy we were. Re-reading every single message you ever sent me, dying to talk to you just one last time. And I remember snapping.

Grabbing the bottle of pills, writing a note to my mom, and gulping them down. Saying "I'll see you soon baby", and falling asleep in your bed thinking I was dead and gone.

Waking up in the god-damn hospital after Louis found me. I still hate my brother to this day. Why did he have to find me? Why couldn't he just let me die so I could have been with you?

But no he had to take me to the hospital and they had to pump my stomach. Then my parents put me in this fucking mental hospital. It was all for you Harry.

I think about the things you told me about my life, and growing up almost everyday. As much as I want to be happy, even though I promised you I would move on, I simply cant.

Everywhere I turn I think of you, whether its your laugh or your perfect smile. From your tall figure to your tiny ears, if my eyes are closed or open there you are.

You promised you would never leave me, and as much as I want to believe that I can't. You are gone, you left me here to suffer by myself. But I don't blame you, I blame time.

Time separated us, time destroyed our relationship, time killed you. Someday, time will kill me too. This will be my last journal entry...

I am going away for a while just to find myself and try and forget. Even though I will never be able to. I promised you I would be happy, and I am sure as hell gonna try.

As I finish up writing this, just know you will always be the love of my life. And nobody could ever replace you.

I don't know how far this life will take me nor if I'll ever be happy again. But one thing remains the same Harry, I will always love you.

Forever, Jenna.

I shut my journal and take a deep breath. It seems like just yesterday I wrote that last journal entry. Hard to believe its already been 3 years since Harry died.

3 years since I heard him say my name, 3 whole years I haven't seen his face. 3 years since I was actually loved. 3 years since I met, him.

After I left the hospital I flew to America wanting to get away, and try to forget. I was in California when I met Keaton. He swept me off my feet and for months it felt like I was actually happy again.

I had stopped cutting myself, thinking about dying again, and even stopped crying everyday. Keaton was slowly but surely helping me forget.

I wasn't going to stop him, i promised Harry I was going to try and be happy. I sure as hell was trying, and so far succeeding.