18 | gods, give me a sign

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18 ☆ ( "MAYBE IT WASN'T LOVE

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18( "MAYBE IT WASN'T LOVE." )

"Do you plan on going anywhere, Rie?" Dad asked me as we walked out of the convenience store, buying me ice cream on his one day off

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"Do you plan on going anywhere, Rie?" Dad asked me as we walked out of the convenience store, buying me ice cream on his one day off. I shrugged, trying not to give in to the temptation of letting it all spill. "You don't have plans with Hanae or any of your other friends?"

"I don't know. We haven't talked over the phone, and I think Hanae's busy with her family the first few days–you know, taking care of her little sister," I explained, taking another bite off the chocolate top. "And, I don't want to be the first one to reach out to hang out. Why? Do you not want me staying at home the whole time?"

"To be truthful, I don't," Dad crossed his arms, feet slowly stepping with one in front of the other. "Because I know you're going to study in your room. It's your escape from your mother and the rest of your world. I want you to have fun experiences before you leave us, go far away, and enter a place where it matters."

I chuckled, looking at my feet. "How did you know that I'll be far away?"

"I expected it. I mean, you said it all that night–that your Mother and I's relationship isn't the most stable. We have practically no love for each other," At least he was self-aware. I didn't have to convince him there was nothing. "And, I wouldn't blame you for trying to escape that. Just know that you're my pride and joy. I'm only here because of you."

Then, he pinched my cheek. I couldn't help but giggle. "You're also the reason I'm here too," I replied, looking at him. "You're the only reason I've tolerated Mother this long. I think if you were any different, I would have run away."

"I'm glad to know that we are each other's comfort. Your Mother's not a bad person, though–we just have differing views," Dad slowly nodded, hoping that I'd agree. Deep down, I did, but because of those same, differing views, I refused to accept it. "I hope you know that you're free to do whatever you want to do–including loving someone."

I tilted my head briefly, trying to shake that specific part off. "I don't know," Was the first thing that came out. "I feel like it's even harder than I imagined. I never knew that having to satisfy my partner would be so difficult."

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