Ashes To Ashes (Priest!Gerard Frerard) [SEQUEL]

Nine

Nine

I was completely enraged, but not quite sure what I was more angry at; the stupidity of Dewees or the situation i'd landed myself in regardless of his mistakes. 

I'm not really sure why, but I went to the park. I guess there's something comforting about the way the trees tower over you when you're sat on the grass, or the way you can the vast sky without the interruptions of buildings. Anyway, I needed comfort wherever I could find it, and so I sat on the grass with my knees pulled up to my chest, wondering just how to move forward. 

I wanted to call Gerard but I knew he would be at work, so instead I tried Lynz. Of course, she didn't pick up and neither did Kellin. I contemplated phoning some of the others - Jimmy or Kitty perhaps, but decided against it as it would only mean more explaining on my behalf, something I was just too exhausted to do. 

With a groan of frustration I fell back against the ground and just lay there for a few minutes, staring up at the sky and watching with jealousy as the clouds glided so effortlessly across it. I wished I could just drift away like they did, not a care in the world. 

"Frank?" 

My head shot up to see Hannah Snowdon walking towards me, her pixie-like face frowning in concern as she took in my somewhat dishevelled appearance. She had a portfolio balanced under one arm and a bag that was nearly half the size of her hanging off the other one. 

"Are you alright?" She frowned, stopping beside me and looking down at my somewhat exhausted expression. 

"Do you know anyone that can get me a shitload of cocaine in say, i dunno a couple of days?" I didn't exactly snap, but my tone was still a bit harsh, maybe even a little sarcastic too. She stood there, unsure for a moment as to wether to take me seriously. I guess the silence that followed made her realise that I was sadly not joking, as she then proceeded to sit herself down beside me and cross her legs. 

"For you?" She started to pick up some of the daisy's from the ground, weaving them together at a fast, intricate pace. 

"No. For a dealer that doesn't know half his stash has been snorted away by... a friend." Although I was beyond pissed at Dewees by this point, I still couldn't bring myself to spread his name around like it was petty gossip.  "If I don't sort this, we're both fucked." 

"And why are you fucked too?" 

"Because i'm the one that's supposed to be dealing it out and when he finds out, he'll kill us both" I stared at the growing daisy chain, and watched as her hands didn't even falter with each confession I made. "And I wish I was being metaphorical, but I do genuinely think he might kill us. Or at least one of us. Maybe both. He's not the sort of guy to do things half hearted."

"Sounds like a fucked up mess" she turned to look at me, finally pausing her daisy chain-making process. "Do you believe in karma Frank?"

"I don't know... what's that got to do with this?" I frowned "I just told you i'm dealing drugs and you're telling me what exactly? That I deserve it for being a shitty person?" 

"No, of course not" She started to tie a knot in the chain "you'd have to be a shitty person for that to be the case, and you're quite clearly not." 

"Then what has karma got to do with this?" it clearly hadn't been working for me so far. Not that I was one to always put positive energy into the world, but I certainly still didn't deserve this much crap in my life. 

"I believe that the good you put out into the world will eventually be returned" She smiled softly "maybe not immediately, but in time. When you help someone in their time of need, they'll remember it. And when you're in need, they'll be there for you in return."