Our Journey

Chapter 4 This girl

- Ovi version, i just got home and talked to my family before work and they told me all about her and what she was saying about me, and how I was so fine as I'm listening I'm just smiling to myself thinking she really liking me fr telling all my family where to get at me I felt so wanted I felt so special she made me feel good I haven't hard those words over two years from someone I can love she made me feel some many different ways I wanted her but I was just so scared to be in a relationship again I didn't want to mess up and I didn't want it to go last my last relationship did that was eating me up and stopping me from what I wanted and was her and her only. and my twin was letting me know she wanted me so I'm just cheesing but i was on the edge cause i haven't t been in a relationship in about 2 years but i had a feeling i wanted her I know I wanted her I've been eyeing her for months way before school started we had our eyes on eachother I was trying to fight it but I wanted her I needed her , i saw her today again when I went to school she make me oh so nervous every time I see her.  and i don't know why she's in my mind like this i only seen her a couple times why she's so in my mind I thought am I feeling another person after so long I thought to myself yes I know I am they way we've been texting eachother always everyday my heart begin to grow founder but I was also so scared and I hated myself for that a girl lady waiting for me and I'm too scared to move forward in this with her but I know in my heart my mind my body I was feeling her so deeply it was so crazy to after I snapped out my thoughts and got done talking to my family it was time for me to head to work i made it to work i was working nightshift i was in a couple hours in my shift it was so busy something told me to check my phone cause I felt it vibrate in pants pocket, I quickly looked and seen a notification from her and I knew it was her, my heart pounding so fast from just texting her and we chopped it up with each other just cake baking I'm just smiling all night texting her just thinking in my head I'm smiling at my phone again I'm getting more happier I'm becoming more happier and I know this girl is making me this way cause the way I feel and act now that I'm talking to her and we're talking she makes me become this better person and I don't know how to explain it but I was so broken before I met her so depressed in my mind about my last relationship and me and that girl been over 2 years but that still had such an effect on me she taking all that dead weight off me that I've been carrying and beating up myself for my past and I know she can see it and feel it from me I'm just so scared I will messed this relationship up like my last I don't want that to happen with this one she's one of a kind and I'm liking her so much and I can't help myself from shaking this feeling, she was telling me when I'm going stop playing again I hate to tell her again why and I didn't want her to feel like I didn't want to be in a relationship with her or be with her so I told her about everything why I wasn't ready for a relationship yet and she told me she understands and she'll wait for me, that's when I knew she one of a kind right there cause you're willing to wait for me to be with me you're willing to wait for me like that made me open my eyes she's the one I thought or could she be the one that'll get me to love again. The other day at school we had this ice breaker group thing for class  and our teachers put us all in groups I was already so nervous cause what if I get put in a group with her my anxiety all over the place now so our teachers picked our groups come to find out she put me in a group with her I'm over here trying my best not to act so nervous around her trying to keep my hands from shaking so the group all got together and we ended up right across from each other to where we was facing eachother we just looking in each other eyes starting off just smiling and she just talking to me and I'm just talking to her nervously about our group project I wasn't saying much but I was saying a lot I felt like, we just kept on smiling and looking at eachother and her homegirl right beside her just smiling at her homegirl and us cause I'm already knowing they talked about me before so I'm already knowing, I'm trying to finish my paper all eyes on me I felt I look up we was both starting and connecting to eachother like puzzles pieces not to long after that class was over, I snapped back out my thoughts and it was time to clock out of work I got home and we continued texting until we called it a night, I just smiled to myself thinking about her, the way she looked today the way she's always so so beautiful, she makes me smile uncontrollable that's what I love I thought to myself drifting off to sleep..