Our Journey

Chapter 22 Can I Fix her?

My day started Off Really late I was off Today so I woke up towards the afternoon I just tried to sleep all my Thoughts and feelings off I thought me sleeping longer will help with that but I should've known better, I do what I always do soon as I wake up and check my phone and see have she texted me and she did she texts me serval times telling me Good morning and that she loves me and asks was I okay, I apologize I woke up so late she understood and I told her that I was okay I didn't want to tell her how I was feeling cause she's already going through so much right now and she doesn't need my thoughts and her thoughts together I didn't think it was worth it she's going through so much right now I know me being worried about her would definitely make her worry and I wasn't going to let her go through that she's already been through so much my worries on her worried will just break her I know it I've been trying to help her and be patient with her be there for her when she needs me but that can be also so hard on me it's affecting me how's she's feeling I thought to myself and I told her I loved her so much more even if we wasn't together yet I've grown so much love for her and I love her so we didn't have a problem saying that to one another cause we meant it but I understand I need to start speaking my thoughts and what's on my mind to her but it's already enough in her mind I don't want to bring any more then It should have, I told her how she slept she said she didn't get any sleep and I've noticed that she hasn't been sleep at all and that worries me so much cause all she does is stay up all night and in her thoughts when night time come All of what she's thinking just combined all together her worries so I know she definitely didn't get any sleep now I ask her why she didn't get any sleep she had told me she's just thinking about her and her mother situation and her sisters even her grandma and brother everything was circling her mind causing her to stay up in her thoughts she needs so much rest I know it I want her to get her rest but I know with her thinking and her thoughts roaming I know better she wasn't going to get any rest. I asked her how she was feeling again she told me she was feeling okay but I know better I know everything isn't okay for her she tells me she's fine but nothing can be off her mind that quick it's impossible I know everything with her mother and missing her sisters also her grandmother and brother all that combined was just destroying her mentally and physically just draining everything out of her to where she couldn't feel anything anymore her emotions was long gone and I can feel it the way she was disappearing out on me and just being distance and not talking to me what is going on I thought to myself I hope she's not hurting herself cause I couldn't live with it at all knowing she's hurting herself mentally, emotionally and physically I can tell it even in her eyes the way she talks to me now it's like does she even want me to help her know what she's feeling in her thoughts do she need my help can I fix her I just asks myself destroying my own thoughts I just want her to be okay I want her mind to be clear I want her to where she's not letting her thoughts get to her or let them go. I pray so much for her she' just doesn't know how much I pray that one day she'll be okay and happy and where her mind won't be in such a dark space or in a tunnel she can't get out off I wanted god to hear my thoughts and prayers about her and help her I prayed to her grandma and brother as well to help her through this journey and just help her, she eventually told me she was going over her moms today and she was worried about that and I know she was I can tell but her mother said she had to go clean her room and and plus my baby needed clothes also cause she don't grab anything when she left, I let her know everything was going be just fine and don't let her get to you just do what you need to do and go back to her homegirls and she said okay but I know she's still worried of course I know she's tell worried this is her first time going over to her Mother's since their incident so I didn't blame her I didn't have to right to tell her don't worry cause I know she still was that's why I reassured her about everything and that everything will be okay just trust and believe, eventually she texted me she was heading over there I know her aniexty was through the roof I had her location so I looked and I could tell she made it but why haven't she texted back yet I begin to worry my thoughts went everywhere until I got a text her she was saying her mother destroyed her whole room it wasn't like that before she left she showed me the room and I was in disbelief as well like how and why I can tell she was frustrated she destroyed her whole room to where she didn't know what to start with first I know she was thinking so many thoughts cause why do this to me, her mother she kept asking her did she have her phone and she says no to her every time so her mother won't know she has it and I was just so confused on why I'm thinking in my head why she don't want her to have a phone I shook off my thoughts it couldn't be that serious I thought and continued to let her know I was here for her and don't let this get to her but I know it have I know it already gotten to her she was so frustrated feeling all these feelings cause why, I just kept on reassuring her telling her everything going to be okay just do what you need and go back to your homegirls cause if she stayed I know it would've been so much bad things happening her mother and her ended up in another argument so she had to leave again but she got to see her sisters while she was there she misses them so much and they misses her so much as well, she proceeded to tell me she left her mother house cause of another argument and it ended up in a physical situation so she had to go, I know she was hurt by this again the same things happened all over again she can't catch a break she was so hurt by this I reassured her and let her know I was here for her and I'm so sorry for everything happening to her and I hope everything gets better and to where her mother eventually realize the hurt she's causing on her daughter, the rest of the day she was so quiet and in her thoughts we barley talked about it but I just let her calm down and have her space cause I know she's going through a lot but also still right beside her side through it all I got her.