Our Journey

Chapter 41 The Breakup

The last two weeks me and her haven't really been talking and I've been so mad about it, it was sadness but it just grew into anger I thought why keep putting myself through this being sad mad and depressed all the time just thinking about us what we've been through, I thought laughing to myself she haven't even put in the effort to talk to me and I know she has way where she can but everytime we talked with each other it wasn't the same she check up on me and disappear, what I'm supposed to do sit here be in my thoughts is I even in a relationship I thought fucking up my own mind, I said I can't keep doing this to me myself I don't got to school anymore so I barely even see her or get to talk to her, by that time now I was fed up with everything, I sent her a text saying I love her so much and care about her but she doesn't know how it feels to go to sleep every night or wake up everyday not talking to your women, I told her I told her its gets draining sitting around waiting on her, she say she understands as long as she has good grades she can come see me whenever and get her phone back that wasn't the point she wasn't hearing me I thought, she continued to apologize she made it like this and I told her don't apologize but I just can't keep mentally hurting myself about you, she the said can we talk face to face when I get back she said cause she was out of town at the moment I told her I'm straight cause if I see her I'm just going to get drawn back in I wished her the best, she then proceeded to say she's not even supposed to be texting me right now so text her mom and tell her what I told her that I don't want to be with her and to tell her the same thing and when her mom said the message she would act surprised about it I told her it's okay she'll just figure it out soon I said she replied " just text her exactly how you do me you don't want to be together keep it pushing simple she said or tell her auntie she'll call and tell her, I didn't respond back, I didn't know how to tell I was hurt she said that but I get it, she texted me again and said this the last thing she had to say she said she didn't feel like we shouldn't stop our relationship she just feel like we need time and she then apologized for hurting me she said she didn't see it but she feel like we need to talk face to face but you don't want to she said and it's okay she told me she love me and always will and they she's not letting me go we need to talk but it's okay she said, I told her you said for me to keep it pushing and that shit really affected me I told her I just can't sit by the phone and wait for her and waste my time I told her I've been feeling like this for a while and I need her but I said I can't have you like I want and i apolgized and then she replied she didn't mean to say keep pushing to me but she can't just drop her love for me she just can't forget about me and don't want to leave me alone she said she was sorry she was hurting me again very sorry she said she need to see me one last time and it was hard to let me go, I told her I understood where she was coming she just have to understand too, I told her I deserve better and can't waste my love, and I agreed to be done I was done with it, then we wished eachother the best.