Burned

Chapter 32

All day I couldn't stop thinking about how I had treated Asher without even giving him time to explain. I shouldn't have reacted this way and it's unfair for him to have suffered my anger.

In my defence, seeing someone suffer in front of me because of me, scared me. Yes, I have killed demons in the past, but it was out of self-defence and not out of willpower.

Seeing Nestor gasping for air to survive made me panic and I counterattacked by attacking Asher. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I expected Asher to help me control my new powers, not just awaken them without me being able to control them.

Since my awakening I have had difficulty seeing clearly in the memories swirling around in my head. I still think I made the right choice to come here even if Knox must have suffered deeply. He must even be angry with me for having betrayed him like that.

I discovered from working with Asher that nothing is all black and white, but that every situation has several facets. I also tend to react quickly and let myself be overwhelmed by my emotions, which risks making me lose control.

Asher always tells me to clear my head and that includes my emotions. I have to remain impassive and keep a cool head. I also believe that he helps me build my character by pushing me to my limits or obeying his orders, which is quite difficult for me. I hate someone telling me what to do, although I'm a woman who has always known how to fend for herself, since my childhood.

I get out of bed and head towards Asher's office. I'm curious to find out where he hides most of his afternoons. I head towards the stairs, turn left, and walk down the long hallway that leads to the west wing. On the way, I encountered a few demons who showed their fangs at me as a sign of displeasure, but I know for a fact that they wouldn't attack me as long as Asher forbid it.

I completely ignore them and continue on my way. After several corridors, I arrive in front of the door to Asher's office. I can't help but pace back and forth in front of his door, unsure of whether I should disturb him or not. I don't want to make him angrier, but I have to apologize for my behaviour this morning.

As I chicken out and turn to go back the other way, I hear Asher telling me to come inside. He must have sensed that I was here. My heart starts pounding in my chest from the stress. I barely open the door and peek inside to make sure a meeting isn't in progress.

I see him sitting behind his desk and he doesn't seem to have noticed that I opened the door. I'm stunned to see that he isn't wearing his jacket and that one button of his shirt is open, revealing a glimpse of his neck. The sleeves of his shirt are also rolled up over his muscular forearms. His cream skin may not be as tan as Knox's, but it gives him a noble side.

His chin is resting on his left hand as he concentrates on reading a document. His black hair falls in front of his eyes in a messy manner. I've never seen him so relaxed and I really appreciate this side of him. He's always impeccably groomed and in control, so seeing him like this gives me a funny feeling in my stomach.

"Novalie, don't be ridiculous and come in" he said to me, remaining focused on what he was reading.

"Eh... I can come back if I bother you" I told him, still hesitating in the doorway.

"I imagine that you came all the way here and waited several minutes in front of my door because you want to talk to me about something" he said, briefly tearing his eyes away from the document.

I finally enter the room and close the door behind me. My hands are sweaty and my heart is still pounding against the wall of my ribcage. I walk slowly in front of him and stop in front of his desk. Not really knowing how to start the discussion, I decide to procrastinate a little.