The Love Of Homophobic (BXB)

Chapter 25

Confession

Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto ang nakalipas ngunit hindi siya bumitaw sa yakap niya hanggang sa makatahan ako. Ramdam ko ang tibok ng puso niya sa dibdib ko, bawat paghinga niya ay tila nagpapakalma sa akin. Sa bawat segundo na lumipas, unti-unti kong nararamdaman ang pag-gaan ng loob ko.

At nang magkaroon ako ng lakas para itulak siya, naagaw ng pansin ko ang basang-basa ang balikat niya.

"I'm sorry..." paos na sabi ko at sinubukan punasan ang parteng iyon. Pakiramdam ko'y wala na akong boses sa sobrang pag-iyak.

Marahan niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko at binaba iyon, hindi inaalis ang hawak. Ang init ng palad niya ay nagbibigay ng kiliti sa akin.

Inangat niya ang aking baba para magkatinginan kami. Ako naman ay hiyang-hiya sa itsura ko. Panigurado ay magang-maga ang mata ko at namumula ang ilong ko.

He stared at me deeply, making me more conscious about my face. Kahit na medyo malabo ang paningin ay klarong-klaro pa rin sa akin ang ka-gwapuhan ng mukha niya. Para akong nalulunod sa lalim ng kanyang mga mata, isang dagat ng emosyon na hindi ko kayang arukin.

His thick eyebrows frame a pair of deep-set steel blue eyes, giving him an intense and captivating gaze. Long eyelashes accentuate his eyes, adding a touch of softness to his otherwise sharp features. His nose is sharp and prominent, leading down to red thin lips that contrast strikingly against his warm, olive-toned complexion.

"I hated you because the first time I met you, I felt something I never felt before. I tried to avoid you but every time I'm walking away from you, your face is all I can think of. You are always on my mind. Heck, I can't even sleep properly," he darkly chuckled, pumungay ang mga mata niya at hinaplos ang pisngi ko.

As much as I don't want to feel anything anymore, he never failed to make my heart race. And the words coming from his mouth now?

I feel like fainting.

"Hindi ko alam kung anong ginawa mo sa 'kin... I just found myself falling, that I tried so hard to avoid. I even hurt you so many times just because I'm a coward and scared of my own feelings."

Nagpatuloy siya, ang kanyang tinig ay puno ng pagsisisi. "I thought pushing you away would make it easier, that I'd forget about these feelings. But it only made things worse. Every time I saw you hurt because of me, it tore me apart inside. I wanted to tell you everything, but I was afraid. Afraid to admit that I fell in love with a guy..."

His hand moved from my chin to cup my cheek gently. "But seeing you cry like this, knowing that I'm the cause of your pain... it made me realize that I can't keep running away. I can't keep hurting you. I need to face my feelings."

"I've never been so jealous before but fuck, baby, I just can't stand seeing you with other people."

My breath hitched as he leaned in closer, his eyes searching mine for any sign of rejection. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. I want to be with you. I know I've made mistakes, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right."

There was a sincerity in his voice that I couldn't ignore. Despite the pain he had caused me, I could see the struggle and the genuine regret in his eyes. My heart was torn between the fear of being hurt again and the hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be different.

His thumb brushed away a stray tear from my cheek, and I found myself leaning into his touch. "I'm not ready yet to forgive you..." I whispered, my voice trembling with uncertainty and a bit of hope.

Hoping that this time, his words are true.

He pulled me into another embrace, this time gentler, as if afraid I might break. "Don't worry, I'll give you time. I will wait," he murmured into my hair. "I'll make it up to you."