The Love Of Homophobic (BXB)

Chapter 16

Heavy

A week has passed since that night, and it's the last time I saw Zeus. Kahit sa school man ay hindi ko siya nakikita, and that's good for me and for my heart.

After that party at his house, I locked myself in my room and cried my heart out. Ganito pala kasakit ang unang pag-ibig.

Huling iyak ko iyon dahil tinabunan ko ng galit ang puso ko tuwing naalala ko ang mga pinag-gagawa niya sa akin.

There are times I can't help but think of him katulad ngayon habang naglalakad ako papuntang classroom. Kung bakit wala siya sa school at bakit hindi ko na siya nakikita.

I mean, he supposed to be at school, right? And aside from that, he is the president of the SSG so he should be the most active student here at school.

I shrugged my thoughts off and sighed. Hindi madali ang mag-move on. Hindi madali alisin ang feelings lalo na kung unang pag-ibig mo 'to.

We can't help but think of them, how they are doing, or if they are also thinking of us. And sometimes, even after they hurt you so many times, you will still miss them and hope that they feel the same way too.

And I hate it. Sabi ko aalisin ko na 'tong feelings na 'to, but I know that will be hard for me. His lips, his eyes, and his voice always linger in my head. It's like he bewitched me.

Kahit na hindi, kahit ako naman talaga dapat ang sisihin dahil una palang alam ko ng hindi maganda ang ugali niya ngunit pinagpatuloy ko pa rin ang pag-ibig na 'to.

Maybe, I'm just lonely or maybe, I just read too many romantic books that's why even after he hurt me, humiliated me, and played with my feelings, I'm still hoping I can change him. My love will reach him and the gentleness in his heart.

As I sit at my desk, I gaze out the classroom window. The view outside is a bright blue sky stretching endlessly, dotted with fluffy white clouds. Occasionally, birds flit past in the midst of it.

Kumalma ang isipan ko sa nakita at kahit papaano ay nawala si Zeus sa utak ko. I looked at the desk beside me—walang tao roon and I think Damien is still with Ali.

And it's a good thing that I have them. I was able to distract myself and my broken heart because of them. If I were still alone, I might be in my room for the whole week, just crying my heart out. I also might be skipping classes because of these stupid feelings.

Dumating ang Professor kasabay si Damien. Damien had a smile plastered on his face while walking to his desk.

"Morning," he greeted as he sat beside me. I just nodded, pulled out my notes, and focused my eyes on the whiteboard.

The first half of the class went smoothly, just like the other days. Ganito talaga siguro pag wala si Zeus. It's peaceful, and it bothers me. I hate it.

Pumunta ako sa pantry for lunch, ako lang mag-isa dahil si Damien ay pinuntahan si Ali sa classroom para sunduin.

The pantry buzzes with the lively chatter of students. Some are gathered around the small tables, sharing snacks and stories, while others lean against the counters, sipping coffee or tea. When I got my food, I went to our usual table. Kumain na ako at hindi na hinintay ang dalawa dahil gutom na ako.

Because of what happened last week, I've lost my appetite for eating. Nagi-guilty na rin ako kay Mama dahil pinagluluto niya ako ng mga pagkain na gusto ko ngunit kaunti lang ang nakakain ko.

"Hi," Tumingin ako sa nagsalita at nakita ko ang pamilyar na babae. My heart skipped a beat when I met her steel blue eyes.

Kakulay niya ng mata ang kuya niya, only she has rounded eyes and Zeus has deep set.