The Love Of Homophobic (BXB)

Chapter 28

The Truth

I spent my last days of my second year college in this school trying to talk with Serene. Simula noong araw na 'yon ay hindi ko na siya mahagilap. Alam kong magagalit siya sa naging desisyon ko ngunit hindi ko inaakalang ganito kalala ang magiging reaksyon niya dahil d'on. Iniiwasan niya ako at itinuturing na parang hangin.

Whenever we cross paths, she looks straight ahead as if she doesn't see me. And whenever I try to talk to her, she finds a way to get away from me. It’s like I’ve become invisible to her, a ghost haunting the corridors we used to walk together. Each ignored glance and quick exit feels like a dagger to my heart, deepening the chasm between us.

Nasasaktan ako sa ginagawa niya ngunit alam kong kasalanan ko. Ayaw kong masira yung pagkakaibigan namin dahil lang dito kaya napagdesisyon kong sabihin na ang totoo sa kaniya.

It was saturday morning when I texted her,

Ako:
Hi. I know you're mad at me right now. I don't want to do this but I have to. Can we please meet up? I wanna talk to you.

Ilang minuto akong nakatitig sa screen ng phone ko at hinihintay ang reply niya ngunit wala. Siguro ay tulog pa.

I let out a deep sigh, my shoulders slumping, as I ate breakfast. The cereal tasted like cardboard, and I pushed it around in the bowl, more interested in my thoughts than the food. The loneliness of the morning crept in, making my heart heavier with each passing second.

Ako lang mag-isa ngayon sa bahay dahil umalis sina Mama para sa isang business trip kasama si Dad at bukas pa ang magiging uwi nila.

My phone beeped, and I immediately checked it. My eyes widened when I saw it was from Serene.

Serene:
I don't want to. Stop bothering me.

Ngumuso ako at hindi mapagkakailang nasaktan sa reply niya. Naaalala ko ang malamig niyang titig sa akin pag nagkakasalubong kami ng mata. Na nagpapaalala sa akin kay Zeus.

And speaking of Zeus, isa pa 'yon, hindi ako pinapatulog ng maayos sa gabi dahil sa mga pinagsasabi niya.

He is in love with me?

I was really shocked when I heard those words from him. Hindi ako pinatulog ng maayos sa gabi. My mind tells me it's just nonsense and not true, but my heart hopes he means what he says. The confusion and fear his confession stirred in me were overwhelming.

Inalis ko si Zeus sa isipan ko at muling tinignan ang reply ni Serene. I took a deep breath and decided to text Serene one more time.

Ako;
Serene, please. I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Can we talk, just for a few minutes? I need to explain everything to you.

I hit send and hoped against hope that she’d give me a chance. The seconds felt like hours as I waited, each tick of the clock amplifying my anticipation. Finally, my phone beeped again.

Serene:
Fine. Meet me at our usual place.

Relief washed over me. I had a chance to explain, to make things right. I quickly got dressed. The morning sun was bright and cheerful, a stark contrast to the storm brewing inside me.

The drive to our favorite café felt like an eternity, my mind racing with thoughts of what I would say and how she would react.

When I arrived, I spotted Serene sitting on a bench, her arms crossed and her expression guarded. She looked so distant, a far cry from the girl who once called me her best friend.

I approached her slowly, my heart in my throat, each step feeling heavier than the last.

“Serene,” tawag ko at umupo sa harapan niya, trying to catch her eye. "I miss you..." The words felt inadequate, but they were all I could muster.