Stained Glass Eyes and Colorful Tears

8

I hate digging up the past, especially when that past is a shitty one that hurts. Talking to Tony the other night about how he kissed someone else absolutely gutted me. I kept replaying everything over and over again in my head, unable to shake the thought of Tony and someone else. 

Today when I woke up I vowed that I would find a way to get it off my head. Drinking and doing drugs were the first idea I had, but soon realized that if I were to do either that I would most likely end up going to see Tony and I don't know if I would want to fuck him or fight him. So, instead I turned to my second old worst habit.

"You missed me, did ya?" Duke says to me with a wink as I slide into his truck.

I've had Duke's number for the last couple of weeks, ever since he came over to my apartment after the bar one night to fix my sink tap that kept dripping. This morning I texted him asking him if he wanted to go out for supper with me. Unsurprisingly, he said yes and told me he'd pick me up at 6pm. At 5:55pm there was a knock on my door, Duke standing on the other side with some flowers and that country boy smile. He even held the door to his truck open for me like the good guy he is.

"I did miss you." I say to him. "I guess you feel the same if you're here with me."

"What can I say, I never leave a dance unfinished." he says with a wink.

"You're taking me dancing?" 

I know dancing is a big thing around here, some nights at the bar there will be half the people in the bar doing the same dance, all of them knowing the steps by heart somehow. There're bars around here specifically where people can dance all night, country style dances that seem so lively and fun. I've always wanted to go but never had the chance or somehow to go with.

"No ma'am, not tonight." he says. "Tonight, we're taking it easy."

"Well, I'm excited. Doing anything with you is bound to be a good time." I say with a smile.

"Have you got out much since you moved here?"

"No, not really. I've mainly just been working and surviving I guess."

I take a moment to admire Duke. In the short time I've known him, he's always proved himself to be a genuinely nice guy. He's said before that he turned out this way because he grew up in a strong household. His dad cherished his mother, and his dad taught him to treat his sisters and women with the most respect. That, and the fact that he's cute as hell, makes him crazy attractive. Plus, I like a man in a cowboy hat. 

"So, you're married." Duke says to me suddenly, his tone more questioning than accusing. 

"Yeah." I say with a sigh. I was hoping we would avoid that whole talk, but even I knew it was inevitable. "I am."

"How long?"

I don't even have to think about it. "Two years now."

"How come you're here in Texas without your husband then?"

"It's complicated." I say with a forced smile. "Nothing worth talking about."

Duke continues on, clearly not done with the topic. "You two goin' to work it out?"

I eye him wearily. "Maybe."

"For what it's worth, I think marriage is something always worth working through." Duke says to me. I raise a surprised eyebrow at him, not expecting this cowboy to have said something so insightful. He notices and grins at me. "Family is big 'round here, and we don't walk away from that easily."

"Yeah, well, sometimes you need to walk away." 

"But not before you fight like hell."

"And you think that's what I should do? Fight like hell?"

"Yes ma'am." he says with a nod.

"I'm sorry, do you want me to get back with my husband?" I ask, fully confused. I thought we got along great and he was interested in me, but now it seems like he only agreed to tonight to try and talk me into getting back with Tony.

Duke gives me that swoon-worthy grin again. "I quite like you, Alia, but if your heart is somewhere else then that's not fair to either of us."

"It's not anywhere else."

Duke gives me an amused look. "You're a terrible liar."

"Would I really be in Texas if I were still in love with him?"

"You tell me." he says, shooting me a sly glance. 

"I'm not."

"Okay then."

"I mean it!"

We'll pull into a fairly empty parking lot for a barbeque restaurant. I've been to my fair share of barbeque restaurants since I got here, but I've never heard of this one before. It looks to be more family owned, which I take to mean it'll taste way better than the chain restaurant ones I usually go to.

"Alrighty."

"I'll prove it." I say stubbornly. "Kiss me."

"I don't make it a habit to kiss married women." he says with no hesitation.

"Then we'll just do it this one night." I retort.

Duke leans over to me slowly, his eyes steady on mine as he bridges the gap between us. He pauses right before he touches me, his lips hovering mere inches above mine. I don't wait for him to close the rest of the open space, instead I bring my head closer to his and connect our lips together. The first few seconds feel bizarre, his lips aren't familiar to me, but I get over it quickly as our kisses deepen.

I start to lose myself in the kiss - fast. My hands slide up onto his strong arms, gripping onto his biceps, loving the way they feel. He has one of his hands around the back of my neck, holding me steady. His lips are so warm and sweet against mine, I can't get enough of them.

And then I open my eyes and see tan, untouched skin with not a single tattoo on them, and I know this is wrong. I push back from Duke, needing to put some space between us. I watch as he opens his eyes, hunger and understanding in his gaze as he realizes what I'm feeling.

"Fine." I bark out. "You were right."

Duke tips his hat forward at me with a smile. "I always am."

I sit there in Duke's truck with a miserable look on my face. I really thought kissing Duke would be the easiest thing in the world. After all, I used to always turn to men for random hookups to forget my problems, but now? Now I think that this situation will take more than a random hookup to make better. It certainly will take only one man to solve too, and that man is unfortunately my husband.